Social Anxiety Killer
Deprogram Your Anxieties, Obliterate Your Fears and Build Real Social Confidence
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Social anxiety sucks. Just thinking about it causes anxiety. It’s like an invisible force field keeping you stuck inside a too small comfort zone.
It’s worse than a force field. It seeps into your brain and makes you imagine the worst possible outcome. The more intelligent you are the worse it feels.
Intelligence Increases Social Anxiety
Because you’re intelligent, this makes it much worse. Because you know from a rational, logical standpoint, there is no reason to feel any fear. After all, you’re not getting ready to wrestle a bear.
You’re not swimming across alligator river. You’re not defending your home against armed invaders with a wiffle ball bat. You’re just walking across the room to say hi.
Worst Fears Imagined
But deep inside you is a tug of war. Part of you wants to walk over there. The smart part of you knows that the worst thing that can happen is a polite rejection. A few people may casually glance over your way during the conversation.
But a deeper part, an older part, is screaming bloody murder. This part of you believes you are in real danger. This part if you is unfortunately responsible for the fight of flight mechanism.
All Hands On Deck!
This is the part that shuts down your higher functions. This part of you really believes you are in danger. Your heart rate increases. Your palms become moist. Your legs start twitching. Getting ready to flee.
Even if you did manage for force yourself to walk over and say hey, your brain would be frozen with anxiety. None of your normal, pleasant, intelligent self would be available.
What The Heck Is Going On?
Once upon a time, you were a socially confident, curious extrovert. The world was filled with excitement, and your brain was hungry for information. Data. You were desperate for input, and you did everything you can to fill your brain with raw material.
The Cause-Effect Function
All brains have a cause effect function built in. Evolutionary psychologists believe this helped us to think much, much quicker in the past. When life was dangerous. When there was no such thing as social danger.
When danger was hungry animals trying to eat us. They’ve tested this in kids as young a six months, and they’ve verified that we link up things in a cause-effect way even when they are random.
Correlation Is Not Causation
You’ve likely heard this a million times. You’ve probably repeated it a million times. We need to say this because people make the common error of correlation and causation. Turns out this the main reason for adult social anxiety.
Before Two Years Old
Before you were two, every adult around you was encouraging you to get up, walk and talk. Every time you did something closer to that goal, you got massive positive social rewards. But then something happened.
After Two Years Old
But after two they flipped the script. Sure, you were cute for a while, running around and blabbering like crazy. But pretty soon, they’d had enough. Pretty soon, every time you expressed your desire for attention and more data, you got the opposite response.
Social Anxiety Brain Equation
The equation that exists in your brain responsible for social anxiety was drilled into your head before you learned how to speak. That’s why rational arguments are useless against social anxiety. What brain equation?
Outgoing Behavior = Danger
This is what was drilled into your head over and over and over again. Hundreds, probably thousands of times. That is why you feel a deep sense of dread whenever you even consider doing something socially outgoing.
Brain Equations Everywhere
This brain equation keeps you from expressing your true self. Your natural self. Your intelligent self. Your humorous self. Your loving self. Your loyal self. Every time you think about interacting with people you do not know this brain equation is triggered.
Knowing, as they say, is half the battle. Well, that’s not really true. Knowing is more like the inspiration part of genius. You know how they say genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration?
The good news is this won’t require doing anything outside of your comfort zone. To detach that brain equation, we just need to go looking through your brain for any examples of the opposite structure. They are there. There are hundreds of them. Thousands.
What The Seeker Seeks
One of the problems is confirmation bias. Since you were programmed with that horrid brain equation long before you knew about rational thinking, it turned into a deeply programmed confirmation bias.
You’ve been looking for, and you’ve been finding, examples of this ever since you started school. But this also means you haven’t noticed all the examples that disprove that horrid brain equation.
Find And Reprogram
This guide will show you how to slowly and deliberately sort through your brain, find the positive brain equations and gradually overwrite your old programming. This will take time. This is not magic. But it is absolutely safe.
Stay Inside Your Own Brain
You can do the whole process inside your comfort zone. Inside your brain, inside your home. You will only engage socially when it feels safe, easy and natural. Not before. This is not one of those guides where you suck it up and keep putting yourself in terrifying situations. Those do not work.
The first phase is slowly finding the memories that already exist. The positive ones that will slowly disprove that horrid brain equation.
Then you’ll use them as a base to slowly build in positive feelings. Then you’ll gradually strengthen those positive memories, just like a muscle.
Re-Calibrate Confirmation Bias
After enough training, your confirmation bias will shift. To find evidence of safety and comfort in normal, every day social situations. You will never do anything outside your comfort zone. You will slowly expand your comfort zone from the inside out.
Forget The Goofy Comfort Zone Metaphors
Many people talk about “breaking” their comfort zone. Or “blasting their comfort zone to smithereens.” This is dangerous. Your comfort zone is there for a reason.
Getting rid of your comfort zone would be like driving around without a seat belt. Or turning off your pain receptors. Silly!
Enlarge Your Comfort Zone
A much safer, much easier, much more gradual technique is to slowly expand your comfort zone. So the stuff you want to do, which now exists way outside, will slowly be brought inside your comfort zone.
Safe and Enjoyable
This means everything you’d like to do now, whatever it is you can imagine, will slowly be brought inside your comfort zone. Starting conversations with gorgeous people. Getting up on stage and letting it all hang out. Explaining to any hiring manager exactly why you are the best person for the job.
Slow and Gradual Process
This is just like exercise. The best way is to start slowly, and build slowly. All you need is your brain, pen and paper, and a few minutes per day. And a desire to slowly and consistently expand your comfort zone. For the rest of your life.
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