From Loneliness To Salvation
Once there was a preacher.
He inherited a church from an old established preacher.
Over the years the congregation slowly shrank.
Soon nobody came to Sunday services.
At first, the preacher was sad.
Lonely and worried about his future.
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Then he decided to take advantage of this opportunity.
He’d been trained by a very conservative professor.
And his predecessor had been very conservative.
And his congregation had been very conservative.
So his sermons had always been very conservative.
But now that nobody was in the pews.
Belt Out Wild Sermons
He decided to have some fun.
He would preach not from his mind.
But from his heart and from his soul.
At first it was very awkward and uncomfortable.
Preaching to an empty church.
Hear Me, Sinners!
But soon his zeal and passion over took his anxiety.
And preached like he’d never preached before.
About coming catastrophes and angels.
The eternal battle between Jesus and Satan.
The daily choice all sinners must face.
To choose good over evil.
Kindness over hatred.
Love over fear.
And the inevitability of salvation.
Two Sides Of Love
Once there was an algebra teacher.
He was very smart and very strict.
He didn’t understand the students jokes.
He was impervious to the students pleas.
He was absolutely unforgiving of any mistakes.
His message was always the same.
If you master algebra, you will master life.
Life gives no second chances, nor does algebra.
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He wanted to be remembered a certain way.
Not enjoyed or even appreciated while learning.
But very much appreciated once the knowledge had been installed.
But he had a very interesting hobby.
At night he was a telemarketer.
He very much enjoyed talking to strangers.
Let’s Have Some Fun
This is where he could practice his greatest skill.
One that could not be used otherwise.
One that must be used on strangers who lived far away.
He was an absolute master of covert love hypnosis.
After only a minutes conversation.
People would fall madly in love with him.
Please Instruct Me, Master
And obey his every command.
Willingly, eagerly and lovingly.
From this frame of undying love.
Did he sell telemarketing products.
During the day he was an algebra taskmaster.
During the night he was a covert love master.
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