Hidden Prizes Once upon a time there was this marketing genius. He had helped plenty of companies come back from the dead simply by changing their marketing message. He was the guy that revived the breakfast cereal companies by coming up with the idea of putting small toys in cereal boxes. And […]
Three Pillars Of Survival
Stock Up I have this friend who fell down the rabbit hole of apocalyptic doom. There more doom porn he read, the more he was convinced that the end of society is just around the corner. So he went to the store to stock up on end of the world supplies, but he immediately […]
Potato Hypnosis
Wake And Bake I have these two really weird friends. One morning, after waking and baking, they’d decided to have a two person random walk elimination contest. They would go outside and start walking, with only a few rules. First, every other corner they’d come to, they’d go straight. And on […]
Spinning Trances
Imaginary Helpers I have a friend that bought a hypnotic archetype book. It’s a self hypnosis based meditation on how to create a collection of helpful archetypes. The more you mediate on them, the more they’ll become real. Eventually, they’ll exist as coming from the unused portion of your brain, so they’ll […]
Square Root Thinking
Unlimited Energy? There’s a theory about how to get energy from a black hole. It involves sending something close to a black hole, and using the slingshot effect to orbit once around the black hole. As it does so, it picks up, or it can pick up energy through various energy collection devices […]
Angry Gorilla Equations
Studying Studying There was this professor of education who unexpectedly got a grant to study various memory techniques. They made a decimal point error, so he got ten times as much money as he was expecting. So he decided to go all out and research as my potential study techniques as possible. […]
Asymptotic Mailman
New Guy Once there was this newly hired mailman. He seemed really intelligent and he radiated a desire to become extremely efficient. So the other mail carriers wanted to make sure he wouldn’t make them look bad. So they said please change your mental frequency equation, take the first derivative, and maximum […]
Big Toe Chaos
Accelerated Hypnosis Error I have this friend who was unhappy with the size of his penis. So he ordered a collection of hypnosis sessions guaranteed at least double the size of your penis. But it required a very strict listening regiment. But because my friend wanted his bigger penis sooner rather than […]
Anti Demon Pancakes
Haunted Lady There was this crazy woman that lived alone. Her husband died, and she was financially taken care of, but she imagined that ghosts were coming to terrorize her every night. Until one night, she hallucinated a guardian angel who came to her and told her what to do to keep herself […]
Vampire Parasite Metaphors
Invisible Spies The NSA has developed a phone app that is mechanical. This is because many people are leaving their cell phones at home, so they can’t be tracked. But the new phones have microscopic drones that follow you everywhere. So even if you leave your phone at home, the NSA can […]
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