His Path To Fame
There was this guy that, while back in high school, had already had his entire career figured out.
He was going to be the first human abducted by aliens, who would not only remain conscious but interview them and bring back verifiable proof of their existence.
So he studied science, psychology, meditation and self hypnosis.
His theory was that he couldn’t afford to just sit around and hope to be abducted.
He figured he would have to develop some kind of meditation based, self hypnotized alien telepathic communication system.
And when he was in his mid forties, he did finally make contact.
He had lengthy conversations with his new alien friends and was just about to convince them to bring him aboard his spacecraft when tragedy struck.
Delicious and Cheap
I kept driving by this fruit stand and wanted to check it out, but there was always a huge line.
The prices seemed pretty cheap, so I went there one Tuesday morning at 4AM when they opened.
And the fruit was not only cheap, but it was the most mouth wateringly delicious fruit I’d ever sunk my teeth into.
So I decided to go back the next week to get this ladies secret.
It’s a small farm and they sell their own stuff.
Hand Waving Lunatic
There is this famous orchestra leader who is thought to be a genius.
And he is a genius, but not for the reason people think.
His theory is that the two most important things for orchestral success is the music itself, and each players connection with their nearest neighbors within the orchestra pit.
He copied this idea from a mathematical paper he read and swarms of birds and fish.
So he trained his orchestra to practice, and only reference the music, their practice, and the people around them.
To ignore him during performances when he’s up there waving his hands around.
Once there was this martial artist who wanted to become famous for inventing a powerful new fighting style.
And he didn’t want to simply put together a hodgepodge of different styles, he wanted to invent something new.
He was inspired by the guy who allegedly copied the movements of the preying mantis.
So he went to the zoo, and are a careful study of all the animals, he decided to model the kangaroo.
He learned as much as he could at the zoo, so decided to go on a pilgrimage to Australia and live amongst the kangaroo.
He studied deep hypnotic modeling.
He was going to put himself in such a deeply hypnotic trance, that he would believe he was a kangaroo.
But something strange happened.
He discovered the kangaroo is very, very intelligent.
We Know What’s Up, Bruh…
Much more intelligent than chimps, dolphins, or even killer whales or gorillas that sign language.
He and his kangaroo friends had deep discussions about trigonometry and potential solutions to nuclear fusion.
So when he came back home, he secretly went around to all the zoos to free the kangaroos.
And he was going to start a movement to recognize the civil rights of kangaroos, but one of the kangaroos he freed from the zoo kicked somebody in the head and killed him.
His defense was that kangaroos are sentient beings who know what they are doing, so he shouldn’t be liable for the guy’s death.
The judge and jury didn’t believe him and sent him to the loony bin.
Smoke Two Joints Before
Before concerts, he gets really high and just kind of moves his hands around however he feels.
Kind of like when you’re at home and you’re dancing in front of the mirror like an imbecile.
Only people think that random marijuana hand waving is his true genius.
I’m A Scientist
I asked her how she grows such delicious fruit and her answer surprised me.
She said is purely objective and scientific.
That she doesn’t even like fruit, and her and her family rarely eat it.
They don’t even like the smell.
They belong to a strange religion where they don’t eat anything but meat.
Even when they make fried chicken, they have to cook it in beef tallow, since vegetable is forbidden, and they bread the fried chicken with ground up pork rinds.
Out Gamed By Aliens
They told him that since his hypnotic communication was strong enough, they didn’t need to abduct him.
In fact, since they had full access to his brain, they would cease all abductions completely.
He asked if they would at least help him make some money or get laid, since that’s what he was hoping for as a result of his alien abduction breakthrough.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Unfortunately, they have evolved far beyond the need for money or even sexual reproduction.
So when the asks about money making advice or how to get girls, they don’t know what to say to him.
So now, he’s got to spend 16 hours a day keeping his brain open for a continuous alien-human brain transfer.
Didn’t End Well
He lives in a tent somewhere downtown.
I’m thinking maybe they heard him hypnotizing himself long before he knew it, and he fell right into their trap.
Now he’s their mind slave for life.
It might have been better to have just let them anally probe him, dump him in the forest with a bunch of amnesia and let him get on with his life.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.