It’s always good to get an outside perspective.
I’m sure you’ve known somebody that has been in some kind of “destructive” relationship, or doing some kind of “destructive” behavior.
Everybody but them knows it’s not going to end well.
You can talk to them till you’re blue in the face, but they just don’t get it.
How can you avoid this yourself?
One way is to be able to associate/dissociate into a situation.
See it from both your own, internal, subjective perspective as well as from an external, objective perspective.
This does take some practice, but it can give you some incredible insight.
Look at your situation, right from where you are, through your own eyes, and feeling those feelings and desires.
Then look at the same situation again, only as if you are somebody else, outside “you” looking at you.
You might see some things from a dissociate view that you can’t see from inside your head.
Things that will help you get what you want a lot quicker.
One way to practice this would be to switch in and out while you’re having a conversation.
Talk to somebody while being “you,” and then keep talking to them while watching “you.”
It can be pretty fun.