Fire and Water
Once upon a time there was an ancient poet.
Dude’s name was Rumi.
Lived back into the 1200’s.
He was one of many who understood the paradoxes of life.
When you step into the fire, you’re really stepping into the cool water.
Or when you step into the cool water, you’re really stepping into the fire.
This is one of many ways that describes these paradoxes.
What may seem like a good idea turns into disaster.
What seems like a horrible idea turns into a pretty good one.
But not just because of random chance.
Because our brains’ inability to understand complex systems at the intuitive level.
It’s very structurally similar to the economic law of unintended consequences.
Government tries to do “good,” so they can get re-elected.
But the good is only a half baked idea.
Too Many Variables
And once the law they enacted to hopefully create “good” ripples through the economy, it creates a whole bunch of these unintended consequences.
Almost always the opposite of what they wanted.
But because this takes a few years, nobody makes the connection.
The same goes with dating and behavior.
We behave in a way to hopefully create a good outcome.
But that behavior tends to create the OPPOSITE of what we wanted.
You are super nice to a girl, hoping she’ll be impressed.
It doesn’t work.
But some jerk shows up, doesn’t care one bit about her feelings, and she falls head over heels for the dude.
This is maddening.
Guys who are successful with girls openly tease them, even slightly insulting them.
Basic Human Nature
There is no deep complex psychological reason for this.
It’s got nothing to do with her self esteem or any of that other mumbo jumbo.
Teasing a pretty girl who is openly thirsted after demonstrates deep confidence.
There is absolutely ZERO conscious thinking involved.
Talking to a girl in a way that demonstrates you don’t care if you ever see her again demonstrates deep confidence.
The kind of deep confidence that is very rare today.
The kind of deep confidence that drives ladies crazy.
Not fake confidence, not meanness, not anger.
Kind of like a very, very powerful sales technique:
This is our product, this is what it costs, do you want to buy it, or not?
When you openly and playfully tease a girl, this is the message you are implying.
In Or Out?
“This is my personality, are you interested, or not?”
This is why getting RID of bad behavior is far, far more important than trying to demonstrate positive behavior.
Present yourself to the world this way, and everybody will want to be on your team.
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