Accelerated Hypnosis Error
I have this friend who was unhappy with the size of his penis.
So he ordered a collection of hypnosis sessions guaranteed at least double the size of your penis.
But it required a very strict listening regiment.
But because my friend wanted his bigger penis sooner rather than later, he created a modified, accelerated listening regime.
It didn’t work out as he’d planned.
Sandwich Contest
I have seven friends who, one night after smoking a bunch of less powerful than expected marijuana, decided to make a toast bet.
They would each put in $100 per week into a pot.
And they would each only be allowed to eat toast sandwiches.
They could put between the two pieces of toast anything they wanted.
But they had to be able to hold the toast sandwich in one hand, and take a full bite without disturbing the structural integrity of the toast sandwich.
They couldn’t dip their toast sandwich in anything.
And whoever lasted the longest, eating only toast sandwiches, would get all the money.
Want Something New
Once there was this rich, bored hobbyist.
So he decided to build a wind box.
A ten foot by ten foot by ten foot box.
Each side made out of a the most powerful fan he could find, pointing inward toward the center of the box.
Need More Helplessness
Once there was this thrill seeker.
He wanted to invent a new thrill seeking sport.
His main complaint was that most thrill seeking sports allow the practitioner too much control.
Skydiving, wind surfing, base jumping, spelunking, all allow too much control of one’s movement.
Out Of Control Rolling
So he created a new rolling sport.
That would be completely out of control, yet safe.
It was three concentric spheres.
The inner sphere was six feet in diameter.
It had a chair with straps, kind of like a pilots chair.
And this most central sphere would always be upright.
The the outer two spheres would provide both insulation and allow a maximum amount of rational flexibility for the inner sphere.
Push Me Off A Cliff
So this sphere complex could roll up and down hills, over jumps, etc., while the center sphere would remain upright, and mostly protected from shocks.
That way he could be rolled down steep mountains, rolled off cliffs into heavy surf, and even ride incredibly huge waves that break onto incredibly sharp rocks.
This allows for a combination of completely helplessness, while remaining completely safe.
Ohm…
He found it’s actually an interesting meditation chamber.
He hangs from specially creates fixtures inside of an airplane hanger.
Then, with all six fans flowing at full speed, it feels like you are floating on air.
Getting in and out of the box is kind of time consuming, but once you’re inside, and you fire up all the fans, it’s like floating.
It’s very, very loud, of course, but if you have some noise canceling headphones it’s somewhat similar to being in a sensory depravation tank.
So far they’ve been very creative with their toast sandwiches.
Not So Bad
Some of them even have toast sandwich dinner parties.
They hire world famous chefs, have them made really expensive seven course meals, and then put everything in a food processor and turn it into a paste.
Then they have seven course meal paste sandwiches.
How’d This Happen?
He didn’t notice anything until he put his running shoes on.
His right foot wouldn’t fit.
He looked at his toes and he was horrified.
Since he listened to the penis enlargement hypnosis in the wrong order, it made his big toe on his right foot grow really, really long.
Like almost a foot long.
He was pretty embarrassed explaining his predicament to his plastic surgeon.
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