Lost Sailors
Once upon a time.
The British empire.
Over which.
The sun never set.
Had a problem.
Their sailors.
Didn’t always know.
Where they were.
Only Up And Down
They could fix latitude.
Relatively easily.
But fixing longitude.
Was much more difficult.
Which is why.
Before they could fix longitude.
Maps were very inaccurate.
So the British government.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
Created a cash prize.
For whoever could invent.
The one device.
That would allow them.
To fix longitude.
With this device.
With the concept.
Of dead reckoning.
Of course, this object.
Is a portable clock.
All At Once
Once there was a scientist.
And an chef.
He wanted to invent.
The perfect cooking utensil.
A combination of a BBQ.
And a pressure cooker.
And a rotisserie grill.
So he built a large chamber.
Within which he could apply pressure.
And flammable gas.
And a kind of motor.
That would spin around.
Fast And Delicious
And create delicious dishes.
Pretty soon.
He had it fully calibrated.
And was capable of cooking.
Large turkeys.
From frozen to table ready.
In as little as three minutes.
But this wasn’t enough.
He wanted to cook bigger and bigger things.
Much more quickly.
Experimental Waste
So he started stealing animals.
Cows and pigs.
And cooking them within minutes.
And discarding the food.
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