One hangup that many guys have out in the field is that sinking suspicion that they are doing something “wrong.”
Some guys have a voice in there heads that says something like this:
“You shouldn’t be doing this. She’s going to get angry. People are going to look at you and think you’re some kind of stalker.”
This is a common problem and stems from a couple of mis-beliefs.
One is that for most guys, getting attention is uncomfortable. If you ever dropped something in a crowded area, and suddenly felt all eyes on you, you know what I’m talking about.
This stems from childhood. See, when we were very young, we screamed and yelled and laughed whenever we felt like it. We didn’t care if we were in church or at the supermarket.
But since that’s not so cool for parents, we were told to “shush!” so many times, that now that unconscious feeling of “calling attention to myself is uncomfortable” is programmed deeply into our brains.
The other reason is how we were controlled. Our parents didn’t always have a good reason to keep us out of trouble. Back in the caveman days, it was easy. They’d just say, “don’t go over there, there’s tigers, and you’ll get eaten.”
In modern times, it’s not so easy. So they told us something like this: “You shouldn’t do that, people will get angry!” That way, they could keep us in line without needing to come up with a defensible reason.
Fast forward to today, and these two “beliefs” that have been programmed into us can easily hold us back.
These two beliefs are:
Social Attention is Uncomfortable
People Won’t Like it if I Do “X”
How do you get rid of them?
Practicing affirmations is one way. Whenever you’re out and about, especially when there are sexually attractive girls about, try saying these to yourself:
“Social attention is normal and it feels good! People notice how awesome I am!”
“People enjoy watching me do “X,” because I can show them how it’s done!”
Try these, or variations of these for five or ten minutes before your next set of approaches, and see how much better you feel.