Most guys see a girl across the room, get some IOIs and then freeze.
Somehow, we’ve been collectively taught that we need some kind of advanced ninja opener that will impress her beyond belief, otherwise we’ll be shot down.
But here’s a secret. The actual words you say don’t matter much.
If she’s made eye contact with you, held it for more than a couple seconds, and even smiled in your direction, then she’s basically just you a loud, clear invitation to walk over and talk to her.
Even better is if her body is kind of pointed at you, while her face is looking away. This is about a clear of a signal that you’re EVER going to get.
Consider this. Let’s say you know somebody, but not that well. You get an invitation in the mail, saying they are having some kind of a housewarming part, and they’d like you to come.
It’s a laid back invitation, maybe put together with some desktop publishing program. Nothing fancy.
Now, do you start getting nervous, about what you’re going to say when you show up for the party?
Do you start to run through your “party openers” in your head? Do you worry that you might get “rejected” if you show up at the party and say the wrong thing to your host?
Of course not! You’re invited, he or she WANTS you to be there.
Same with flirty eye contact from across the room. She WANTS you to walk over and talk to her. You DON’T have to worry about “breaking her state” or “approaching at an angle” or “using the peel off method” or whatever nonsense the gurus teach.
Just walk over, introduce yourself, and start talking to her.
She’ll see you coming, and know what’s going on. You just show up, and simply PACE the situation.
When you PACE the situation, you’re creating a MASSIVE amount of rapport. You aren’t trying to hijack her model of the world, or show off your model of world.
By pacing the situation, you’re creating a MUTUAL model of the world that you can create and enjoy together.
That is EXACTLY what she wants you to do.
How do you pace?
Just say something like this:
“Hi, I saw you from across the room, and thought you look interested. You smiled so I figured it was safe to come over and talk to you. My names George.” (but use your OWN name, OK?)
She can’t disagree with what you’ve said, and she certainly won’t reject you. Just start talking about whatever, and see what happens.
To make it much easier, slip some of these patterns into the conversation, and you’re off to the races: