You know those words. Those words of instant death and extended loneliness for your willy.
“You’re a great guy, and I want us to be good friends.”
However, don’t discount the “friendship frame,” it can be used to your advantage.
Consider this. Say you’ve got a friend that you’re not really sexually interested in. She may be interested in you, but since you don’t want to go there, you don’t really think about it too much.
But she’s pretty cool, and you like hanging out with her.
If you saw her one night while you were out with your boys, you’d got over and say Hi. Give her hard time. Treat her like one of the guys. Bust her balls. (so to speak).
You definitely WOULDN’T be nervous or shy or worried about how she would respond.
Because you’d be ASSUMING a friendship frame. Automatically and unconsciously.
Naturally, this very same frame would make you MUCH more attractive, especially to other girls you haven’t gotten to know yet.
Because you’d be relaxed. You wouldn’t be nervous, worried about what to say, busily trying to read every micro movement of her body language or facial expression, and you wouldn’t be putting her tone of voice inflections through your mental voice analyzer.
When you assume a “friendship frame,” all that junk goes out the window, as it’s unnecessary. Now, obviously I’m not advocating not trying to get laid, and walking up to every hot girl like a lost puppy and asking her if you two can be friends.
What I’m talking about is assuming that you already are friends. (The kind of friendship you’ve got with a girl you’re into that you’re banging the crap of on a regular basis.)
Now, this won’t happen naturally. You’ve got to kind of “force” this in your mind. But all you really need is a “push” in the beginning. Most times, after the first minute or so, and you’re past those first “approach jitters,” you’re in like Flynn.
It’s kind of like giving a speech. If you’re really nervous, and you start out by purposely speaking loudly and confidently, pretty soon you don’t need to try any more.
It’s like you “put out” this “energy” of confidence, to which your audience reacts to, which makes it easier to keep it going.
When you walk up to a girl, and “force” yourself to think of her as a friend, she’ll respond that way, which will make it easier for you to act that way.
A good way to try this out is do this with eye contact. Don’t worry about approaching, just prove to yourself that this works.
Find some cutie, then make eye contact with her as if you already know her. Smile at her with your eyes as if you’re saying
“Hey! What’s up! Long time no see!”
Then just be on your way. You’ll be blown away by the responses.