Whoever has the strongest frame will come out ahead in any discussion. They will be perceived as the “leader” and people will naturally follow him.
And girls will be naturally attracted to him. Any guy in any place that has the strongest frame will be the most attractive guy in the room.
In order to do that, you’ve got have two things.
A strong frame.
Frame control.
How do you control the frame?
First, what is the frame? The frame is the “meaning” of the interaction.
What is a strong frame? One that you control.
This sounds like a bit of circular logic, but bear with me.
Let’s say a guy walks into a bar. He hasn’t been laid in years. He’s super shy. He sees a cute girl, and gets up the nerve to talk to her.
He “hopes” she won’t reject him. He “hopes” he’ll get her number. He “hopes” she’ll like him.
So his frame is, “I’m going to talk to that girl and maybe get her number and hopefully not get rejected.”
He approaches her with that weak frame.
He starts talking to her.
She thinks, “Who is this guy? Not very attractive, but no reason to be mean. I’ll be polite until he goes away.”
Her frame is “I’m going to take to him and be polite and hope he goes away sooner rather than later.’
Another weak frame.
But, her frame is stronger than his frame. Because she has something he wants, but he doesn’t have anything that she wants.
He is quickly “outframed” by her frame.
Both their frames are based some kind of “hope” that something happens. Nobody has a strong intention. Nobody has a clear goal. Both people are “reacting” to their environments, instead of “controlling” their environments.
In the next post we’ll go into what makes a strong frame, and how “outframe” anybody else’s frame.