When you give somebody a positive and socially desirable label, they will go to great lengths to keep it.
Especially if you get their “buy in” when you first describe them in such a way.
One way to introduce this into a conversation is to talk about other people in the opposite way.
Let’s say you’ve started talking to a girl in a bar.
You’d like to get her to admit that she is kind, and she gives people the benefit of the doubt.
(I’m sure you can guess why!)
So you spot somebody across the bar. You say they remind you of somebody you used to know.
That “somebody you used to know” wasn’t very kind, and she was very judgmental. That’s why you broke off your friendship.
The girl you’re talking to will readily admit that the opposite of that (not kind and judgmental), is much more preferable.
Then ask her about herself. Don’t ask her directly, she’ll feel put on the spot. Say something like this:
“What about your friends? Would they say you’re kind hearted and ready to give people the benefit of the doubt?”
Now, she won’t usually say, “Yes! Of course!”
But she will say something like:
“Well, I’d HOPE they’d say something like that!”
Which means you’re in.
Later on in the conversation, give her the opportunity to PROVE that she’s “like that.”
Obviously, don’t SAY “Hey, you need to prove to me that you are kind by giving me your number!”
Or anything close to that.
Just say you’ve got to get going, and she seems like a nice person. Why doesn’t she give you her number so you can hang out later?