There’s plenty of nifty tools in NLP. One of them is the “meta model.”
Whenever humans look out into the world, we never, ever, get the “whole story.”
A long time ago, nature had to decide whether a fast, inaccurate brain or a slow, accurate brain was better.
All the dudes with slow but accurate brains got eaten by tigers (or trampled by stampeding zebras), and we’re all that’s left.
When we experience what we think is “reality” we only get a very limited snapshot.
We distort, delete, and generalize. So naturally, when we are describing ANY experience, believe, judgment, or anything OTHER than some ultra specific laboratory measurement, it’s going to be vague as hell.
Enter The Meta Model
The meta model takes any statement, and aims to make it as specific as possible.
Just think of the five W’s and the H (who what why when where how).
If somebody says something vague, you say “how specifically?” or “what specifically?” or “when specifically?”
If something says somebody or somebody “has to” or “should” do something (usually YOU), say something like this:
“What happens if I don’t?”
It’s crucial to say this with a relaxed, calm, and honest curiosity. Otherwise they might throw a shoe at you.
This is perfect for calmly dismantling any criticism, from a boss, loved one, or some bum on the street.
You make me so mad?
I do? How specifically do I do that?
This will NEVER work!
Never? What specifically is stopping it?
You [gender/ethnicity/job/political belief/religious belief] people are all the same!
How specifically? Is there any way we are different?
Try these out, just be careful to be as calm and relaxed as possible. You’ll be amazed how powerfully they absolutely destroy somebody’s long held beliefs.