So Important?
They say you can never make another first impression.
This is true, but not like the way people interpret it.
Saying you can never make another first impression is like saying you can’t go back in time.
This doesn’t say ANYTHING about what the first impression is, was, or can be.
That common statement is generally meant to emphasize the IMPORTANCE of a first impression.
Why would anybody do that?
Maybe to sell clothing, or makeup, or a book of memorized game tactics.
But consider these somewhat non-standard ideas.
When we first see somebody, especially when that somebody is UNEXPECTED, our brains are nowhere NEAR in the “uptime” state of mind.
Judges Only
Sure, if you’re a judge of a talent show, your brain is going to be hyper focused on the competitors.
But if you’re just a random dude who sees a random girl?
Or a random girl who sees a random dude?
During normal times, our brains are nowhere NEAR “judge” mode.
So the idea of a first impression doesn’t really make sense.
There we are inside our brains.
Swirling with emotions and memories and expectations and varying levels of anxiety.
THEN a person suddenly POPS onto our radar.
What IS the first impression?
Possible?
Is it even POSSIBLE to have a first impression that isn’t 2% our impression of them, and 98% all the thoughts and feelings swirling around in our brains?
Here’s another goofy question.
How LONG does it take to make a first impression?
“Experts” say like ten seconds or so.
Yes, maybe true.
But what is the VALUE of that first, ten second impression?
How much certainty is there in that first, ten second impression?
How accurate is that first, ten second impression?
Sure, if you’re in a beauty contest, it’s critical.
But if you’re a normal human?
First Pass Guess
First impressions are really ONLY a kind of “guess.”
And instinctive filter.
And these filters are continuously being updated.
Our impressions of others are continuously being updated.
Suppose you see a fairly cute girl.
And you start talking to her.
And this conversation happens after your first impression of her.
Situation one is she wants to be the most famous porn star in the world.
Situation two is she wants to be a loyal housewife to a billionaire.
Situation three is she just got a ten billion dollar grant to run a laboratory to cure cancer.
Situation four is she is a secret vampire and is just about to unleash her plans to enslave the Earth.
Always Updating
Each one of these will OBLITERATE your first impression of her.
Similarly, how YOU talk to people will (or can) OBLITERATE their first impression of you.
Specifically, the kinds of things you talk about.
The kinds of things about them you are interested in.
So after only a few minutes of conversation, they’ll be SO BLOWN AWAY they won’t even remember what their first impression of you was.
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