Having a strong internal frame is crucial when achieving success, regardless of what you do.
Obviously, this goes double for meeting gorgeous women, because there’s so much at stake.
One of the biggest roadblocks guys have is a feeling that they are doing something “not normal.”
Anytime we do anything that’s unfamiliar, it’s going to feel uncomfortable. That’s simply how our brains are wired.
When we’re in unfamiliar territory, those anxious feelings are our brain being on high alert so we don’t step on any rattlesnakes or walk off any cliffs.
So, when you’re approaching a cute girl, there’s a couple ways to frame it.
One is as an unfamiliar event. You’ve never talked to her, you don’t know how she’s going to respond, which makes your brain go into “potential danger defense mode,” making you nervous as crap.
Not such a helpful frame.
Or you could try another frame.
One of talking to a new person. Something you’ve done plenty of times before, without any dangerous outcomes.
Obviously, we didn’t get his far on our evolutionary path without being predisposed to sniff out potential danger, so it’s going to take a bit of conscious effort to keep your brain thinking in terms of “normal, all systems go,” when talking to girls.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic “switch,” that suddenly will make it easy without any further thought.
But, you’ll be surprised how easy it is when you FORCE your brain to think about all the times you approached strangers without any negative outcomes WHILE you’re approaching and starting a conversation with her.
Take a couple minutes to force those thoughts from your past (no matter how recent or long ago they happened) into the forefront of your brain.
Give yourself evidence, and tell yourself that approaching and talking to interesting PEOPLE is easy, comfortable, and normal, and it will be.
This DOES take some conscious effort. It won’t happen automatically. But your whole history is about overriding your caveman brain with your conscious brain.
Every time you wanted to pound something to death but didn’t, or stuff your face with fried food but didn’t, say something evil to somebody but didn’t, it is PROOF that you have conquered your caveman brain with your conscious brain.
Your caveman brain is telling you be afraid. FORCE those thoughts out of your head, by REPLACING them with memories of normal social interaction.
The more you practice this, the easier it gets.