Where you focus your attention, and intention, when talking to girls will have HUGE impact on your ability to lead her emotions.
Being able to lead her emotions, without a doubt, is the Holy Grail when it comes to creating and enjoying the relationships you want.
To be sure, this is ALWAYS the underlying goal of any kind of dating or pick up situation, even if you don’t know it.
You take her to dinner, buy her flowers, give her a compliment, whatever you do, you’re hoping, either consciously or unconsciously, her emotions are going to move in your favor.
Meaning she’ll stop focusing and thinking about whatever she WAS focusing and thinking about, and start wondering about and wanting you.
In fact, this is the whole purpose of the courtship process, however long or short it takes.
You spend time with her, and behave in a way that will fire up her desire and attraction.
However, when most guys go over and speak to her, they are also seeking approval. They want to be “noticed,” or at the very least, “not rejected.”
Think of this for a minute. For any girl (or any person for that matter) to give you “approval,” they have to be superior to you, at least in some way. You certainly can’t approve of somebody who is “above you” or has some kind of power over you.
So when you take on the “seeking approval” frame, you’re effectively putting yourself below her.
This is the exact OPPOSITE of what want.
Girls are NOT attracted to guys that perceive “beneath them.”
They are attracted to dominant leaders, who can, on some level, control them.
How can you overcome this common paradox?
Find ways to approve of yourself. Once you’ve got that self approval, build it up so that’s enough. Enough so that you don’t NEED approval from anybody else.
This way, it will be a lot easier to maintain your naturally dominant (male) frame when you walk over and talk to her.
A great way to slowly build up your own solid frame of self approval is to be the creator of your life.
See yourself as the architect, the builder, the developer. Not the “responder,” or the “seeker of validation seeker.”
See your self as the OWNER of your life, and everything in it.
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