I have a friend that’s got a couple kids, that are exceptionally energetic.
They picked up this song at school (kindergarten I think) about somebody getting caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.
When they start singing it, they jump around like a couple of hyperactive monkeys that just discovered espresso.
When many guys walk up to a girl, they feel as though they are doing some wrong.
Even if you’re sitting with your buddies, and you’re checking out some girl, and she sees you checking her out, your friends will say something like, “busted,” or “uh oh, you got caught,” as if looking at and enjoying pretty girls is morally wrong.
It’s not. Looking at a pretty girl, and appreciating her is perfectly normal. Humans would have died off a long, long time ago if ALL MEN didn’t have this desire programmed deep into them.
So why do we speak using the, “getting caught” language?
It’s a kind of a two step. Meaning you feel like you’re doing something wrong. And when she sees you checking her out, she may indeed respond negatively. Maybe rolling her eyes, or giving you a dirty look.
But she’s NOT doing that because you’re checking her out. She’s doing that because YOU FEEL like you are doing something wrong. Before she even looks at you, you’ve already judged yourself as doing something wrong.
So she’s not responding to your actions, she’s responding to YOUR INTERPRETATION of your actions.
When people look at a complete stranger, they have NO CLUE how to interpret that person. Our brains are hard wired to find any short cuts we can. We usually like to rely on things like social proof or authority. But if those things aren’t around, guess what?
We use the person’s OWN INTERPRETATION of themselves to use for our judgment.
If we see somebody who thinks they’re the bomb (in a real way, not a fake way) so will we. If we see somebody who thinks they’re a loser, so will we.
So when she sees you checking her out, she’s not upset you’re checking her out. She’s upset that somebody is checking her out who THINKS it’s wrong to check her out.
You can prove this by changing how you judge yourself. Just go somewhere, enjoy looking at girls, and practice telling yourself it’s completely natural and normal.
And when a girl sees you looking at her, enjoy that as well. Using your eyes, facial expressions and body language, say this with your mind, “Hi, you’re really pretty, and I enjoy looking at you.”
And feel good. REALLY good.
THEN you’ll realize the secret. Girls LOVE being checked out. Girls LOVE being approached. Girls LOVE being seduced. So long as you feel that it’s your right and duty to do so, she won’t be able to get enough of you.
To make it even more fun, use this mind bending language patterns, to send her emotions to the moon: