If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know it’s a lot easier to interact with girls, no matter cute they are.
The reason is clear. Since you’re already getting THOSE needs met, any conversation you have is purely just for “in the moment” pleasure. Maybe a cute girl at the supermarket, or that cute Barista at Starbucks, or whatever.
Bottom line is if you KNOW you are going to get some, girls are easy to talk to.
But if you are desperate to get some, they suddenly every single word you say takes on a HUGE level of importance.
This can lead to self-doubt, a serious lack of confidence, and “game” that sounds absolutely horrible. She KNOWS your nervous, desperate, and worried about that particular conversation.
Clearly, this presents a paradox. If you’ve already GOT a girlfriend, it’s easy to GET another one. Just like getting a job is easier if you’ve got a job, or getting a loan from the bank is easier if you’ve already got money.
One thing that can help is the “act as if” frame. Meaning whenever you talk to a cute girl, imagine as much as you can that you ARE getting some later, even if you aren’t.
Now, I’ll be honest, this takes a lot of practice, and it’s hard to do in real time.
However, if you’re ever in a situation where you need to figure out how often and what to say when you TEXT a girl, it’s a lot easier to take on the “as if” frame.
Since she’s not right there in front of you, you’ve got some time to plan your response.
It’s much more like a chess match, where you’ve got plenty of time to think, rather than a martial arts throw down, where you’ve only got your instincts.
Here’s a couple “rules” for texting. Less is better, and less is better.
Less is better means don’t text more than once every couple of days.
Less is better also means that when you DO text, only use a couple lines, if that.
And texts should ONLY do two things, and two things only.
Set up meetings, and create attraction.
Setting up meetings is easy. Never ask. Only suggest. Choose a place you’re going to, WITH OR WITHOUT her. Then tell her what you’re doing, and tell her it’s OK if she tags along. Don’t ask her to go with you. Don’t tell her you’ll be super happy glad if she comes.
Second is to create attraction. Think of these as “drive by” half thoughts. You want her to read the text, not really understand it, and wonder what you mean.
Once you drop one of these “half thought bombs,’ DO NOT TEXT HER AGAIN, under any circumstances, for any reason, for at least 24 hours.
When you do, DO NOT EXPLAIN or otherwise reference your previous text. Use the “get together” text. Meaning that you’re going somewhere, and if she wants to go, that would be OK with you.
Practice this, and your text game will go through the roof.
To get this level of skill with face to face game (which you WILL need when you meet her later), check this out: