Girls hate nice guys and love jerks.
Right?
Sort of.
See, nice guys aren’t really nice guys. They’re “scared” guys. Whenever you’re about to say something, or want to say something, but hold back because you are worried what the other person might think or say, you automatically put yourself in the “nice guy” category.
But “nice” really means, “overly safe.” Why are these guys repulsive to women? They want a guy who isn’t afraid of society. They want a guy that can hold his own. Some guy that can’t even express themselves honestly to her already fails big time.
Now, why do jerks get so much action? Because they don’t hold back. They don’t base their communication and expression based on what other people might think. Well, actually they do.
They are afraid of a certain reaction, most likely rejection, and believe it or not, they use the same strategy as the nice guy.
Nice guys are afraid of rejection, so they say “nice things” that won’t get rejected.
Jerks are also afraid of rejection, so they say “mean things” that won’t get rejected. They’re really two sides of the same coin.
Both are scared little boys deep down inside. They just have different strategies for making sure their fears are never realized.
How To Escape?
To get out of this no-win dichotomy, simply refuse to let anybody reject you.
She says she likes cats. You like dogs. Big deal. You both like different things. If she says you’re an idiot for liking dogs, and laughs at you, who’s the real idiot?
Here’s a real world, common example.
Flaking, or showing up late.
Nice guy reaction:
Tells her it’s OK. Wants to show her how patient he is. Pats himself on the back for being so virtuous.
Jerk Reaction:
Yells at her for an hour, makes her feel like crap.
Alpha Male:
After ten minutes, leaves. Figures if she’s not interested in him enough to show up on time, she’s not worth pursuing.
How do you become an alpha male? Simply express yourself, and allow others to respond to you. Don’t try and change anybody. Just be always on the hunt for people who appreciate you for who you are. If they do,cool. If they don’t, no biggie. There’s plenty more.