Whenever people try and get other people to do things, we almost always rely on “shoulds.”
She should call me back sooner.
She shouldn’t reject me.
She should lose weight.
She should take better care of herself.
Etc, etc, etc.
The truth is that NOBODY really gives a rip what other people’s “shoulds” are.
The raw (and usually unwelcome) truth is we are all selfish bastards. To the core.
To the extent that “shoulds” work, it’s only because they present a negative “incentive.”
Say you’ve got a girlfriend. She keeps telling you that you “should” buy her dinner every Friday night.
You don’t really like to, but you do anyway. Why? Do you recognize that there is some kind of universal law of behavior that you MUST follow? Is there some ancient rule of courtship that will destroy the Earth if it’s not mindlessly obeyed? No.
It’s just by nagging you, she’s creating a negative incentive. If you DON’T buy her dinner, you’ll suffer some serious agony. So you buy her dinner on Friday nights so she WON’T nag you.
That’s a negative incentive.
What might be a positive incentive? Let’s say after Friday, after you buy her dinner, she would automatically, without being asked, give you a blowjob in the car.
Now, which do you think would motivate you more to buy her dinner every Friday? Avoiding a negative incentive, or getting a positive incentive?
So, whenever you’re trying to get girls to “behave” in the way you want, try to frame the desired behavior with some positive incentives in mind. Now, it’s crucial NOT to mention these, otherwise she’ll think she is being “trained.”
Nobody likes to be told what to do, under any circumstances. We ALL like to make our decisions on our own, even if they are based on the incentives we are getting from others.
So, how does this work when you haven’t even talked to her, like some girl you are thinking of approaching?
Try to see things from her perspective. Forget trying to pick her up based on how you imagine she “should” act.
Think of what she wants, or what positive things she’d respond to.
Obviously, everybody’s different, but there are some universals.
Acceptance, approval, recognition, validation.
Think about this next time you’re interacting with girls, known or unknown.