So you walk up to her, open her, get some positive vibes, and about three minutes or so into the conversation, she says something like this:
“I just wanted to let you know that I’ve got a boyfriend.”
What do you do? Launch into the “boyfriend destroyer” pattern?
Sulk away and try again with somebody else?
Tell her you want to be friends?
Let’s take a lesson from the great Milton Erickson, the inventor of conversational hypnosis. All those “patterns”, hypnosis, NLP is based on his work.
He would talk to all kinds of different people, with all kinds of backgrounds, and solve their lifelong problems in a couple of hours.
All through conversation.
Over the course of his career, he developed some pretty wicked linguistic tools. And like I mentioned, those tools are what makes up the bulk of NLP and covert hypnosis.
One of his strategies is called “utilization.”
This means that whatever the client said, he’d use that in his therapy.
See, there’s a few things you can do when something unexpected comes up.
You can ignore it, and hope it’s not important, you can argue with it, and convince the person it’s not important, or you can simply accept it, and use it to achieve your outcome.
For example, you might try this next time you get the “boyfriend objection”
She: I’ve got a boyfriend.
That’s really good. Relationships are important. I’m always fascinated when I heard my friends and colleagues tell me how they met their significant other.
I think it’s amazing how two people can go from not knowing each other, to being head over heels in love with each other, and able to enjoy a sexually and emotionally fulfilling relationship.
Like, how do you know, I mean how do you really know when you can feel attraction for this person? I mean a few minutes ago, or whenever, you didn’t even know this person existed. And then you suddenly find that you can’t get your mind off this person, and it feels wonderful.
I don’t know about you, but I think falling in love is one of the greatest things humans can experience.
I mean, what’s it like, for you, when you’re starting to fall in love with this person?
Now, this is just of many different things you can say. The important part is NOT to get blown out when she says “I have a boyfriend.” Just acknowledge it, and use it as stepping stone to talk about relationships, love, and attraction.
And when you can get a girl talking about relationships, love and attraction while she’s looking at you and talking to you and listening to you, that’s pretty good.