So you walk up to a girl, a hot girl. A hot girl who, just a minute ago, looked at you and smiled.
Not just a polite smile, a “come on over and talk to me” smile.
You know what I’m talking about.
She just used a powerful form of “girl-nosis” on you. Programmed deep into her subconscious by Mother Nature to help propagate the species.
One way to think about humans is a HUGE equalizer. Each control represents our emotions, physical traits, beliefs, history. Some knobs are genetically programmed. Some are set by our experience. Some can be changed, some can’t.
When we really “click” with somebody, a lot of those knobs overlap. Ours with theirs.
But something funny happens when that hot girl smiles at you.
We suddenly, automatically, and unconsciously IGNORE most of her equalizer settings.
Think about it. If men required to really, really get to know a girl before having sex with her, we would have died out with the Neanderthals.
But here we are.
Let’s assume we each have about 1000 knobs on our equalizer.
How many are required for attraction? Maybe ten. The rest aren’t important.
But what happens when a guy sees a girl who’s got the right ten knobs in the right ten places?
We pretty much assume that the other 995 are right where we want them.
We hallucinate them.
So, that girl we see across the bar, the hot one who’s smiling at us, she’s about .5% reality, and 99.5% fantasy.
Now, we may get lucky, and there might be enough overlapping knobs to form a relationship, but that will take a good while to figure out.
So if you walk over, and “she” rejects you, who’s really rejecting whom?
After all, most of what you think about her is really part of your imagination.
Your assumptions, hopes, and wishes.
Any rejection is really just you rejecting you.
How to avoid this?
Stop assuming that those knobs are just where you’d like them to be. Stop assuming that just because she’s hot, and smiling at you, that she’s somehow “girlfriend material.”
She might be some psycho who practices witchcraft and cannibalism.
Instead of seeing that approach as you trying to appease the princess goddess, think of it as a fact finding mission.
To determine whether or not she’s a psycho. Have a little fun with it.
“Hey, you’re really cute. But you remind me of an ex of mine who was a real nutjob. How do I know you’re not a complete psycho?”
See what happens.