Grow Yourself Rich
I have a friend who is am amateur gardener.
But he only retains his amateur status since he doesn’t make any money from his gardening.
Well, that’s not really true.
Because of his gardening skills, he saves a considerable amount of money on his grocery shopping.
So he doesn’t make money, but he saves more than from his gardening than even the most respected gardeners make on the pro circuit.
Magic Wheat
He’s invented this very strange kind of wheat.
He’ll grind it up into cake flour, for example.
And he’ll use his cake flour to make a cake per any otherwise normal cake recipe.
He’ll mix in the sugar, eggs, butter, etc.
Of course, I didn’t believe this, I couldn’t believe this, as this is in direct violation of the first law of thermodynamics, cake baking or no cake baking, until he showed me.
He measures everything out specifically.
The total weight of all the ingredients, going into the over, is sixteen ounces, or on pound of pre-baked cake mix.
Pork Yourself Rich
There’s this guy that has a small private farm, and a small private butcher shop.
His meat is delicious and cheap.
But not only is his meat delicious and cheap, but he has an extraordinary profit margin.
He feeds his animals, pigs, cows, and chicken, corn.
And the corn he grows on this relatively small plot of land.
Pre-Historical Magic
And allegedly, according to local legends and mythology, this was a land occupied by the ancient Denisovan’s over 10,000 years ago.
And before they went instinct, or perhaps why they went instinct, on this land they invoked, perhaps, some pre-historic black magic.
And this black magic has a kind of lingering effect.
Effecting primarily the corn.
Secondarily his animals.
Eat Some Get Some
And perhaps tertiarilly the people who eat his exceptionally delicious and unbelievably cheap pork chops.
There is a string of small magic stores across the country.
They all are named and operated independently.
The only thing tying them together is their nation wide credit union.
Once you are employed there for three months, you can join the credit union.
But the application process is extremely lengthy.
And they have, but don’t advertise, a two tiered membership.
Get To The Second Level
They don’t indicate how you qualify for the second tier.
Most of the questions are based on your opinion.
Like if you were on a sinking ship, and you could only save one item, which would you save, a miniature chess set or a sack of carrots?
Or if you could only wear gloves of two colors, would you wear the darker color on your right hand, or your left hand?
Or would you rather be a world famous juggler or a world famous violinist?
Shop Yourself Rich
There is this very, very powerful supermarket hack.
It only works at once chain, which is luckily and nationwide chain.
The hack is kind of like ordering a four by four at IN-n-Out.
They don’t have a four by four on the menu, but if you know it, you can order it.
Like a kind of secret, word of mouth menu.
It’s like this, but much more secretive, much less word of mouth, but much, much more profitable.
The Right Nine
You have to buy nine items and nine items only.
You have to buy the right nine items.
You have to put them in your basket so the checker will scan them in the right order.
If this happens, then the register will say your change is $100,000.
It will freeze until you are paid this amount of money.
The checker, of course, will call her manager.
The manager, will need to call his manager.
Then the checker’s manager’s manager will ask what items you bought, to verify.
Cash For You
And in each store they have a safe with $100,000.
The checker’s manager’s manager will come down with the cash, hand it to you, and thank you for shopping at that supermarket.
Since it’s a big bag of cash, he or she will recommend you immediately take it to the bank and set up an account.
Because it’s dangerous to be walking around with sack filled with cash.
If you do manage to get lucky and answer the questions correctly, you’ll get the special second tier credit union plan.
Double Every Year
Which pays 100% interest per year so long as you work at that magic shop.
The strange part is he’ll take on of his hogs, for example, and weight if just before the slaughter.
And because he’s fed his hog with the magic corn, he’ll get over two thousand pounds of marketable pork products.
Which means he can sell them, very, very cheaply.
Saw It Still Don’t Believe It
I saw him do this.
And I watched his oven the entire come.
He put in cake batter that weight one pound.
And thirty minutes later, he pulled a cake out of his oven that was 10 pounds.
He has no idea where that extra weight came from.
But anything he makes with his wheat flour will expand ten times the weight.
Bread, pancakes, pasta, tortillas, pilot biscuits, bagels, cookies, anything.
This doesn’t include all the whiskey barrels he’s got in his basement.
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