Most guys have some kind of approach anxiety. If you don’t have approach anxiety, then something’s wrong with you!
It’s natural to be a bit nervous and uncomfortable doing new things, and when we’re thinking about talking to that gorgeous girl over there, when there’s so much to gain, this doesn’t help matters much.
The truth about approach anxiety, as I’m sure you know, is that it’s all in our head. There’s no real danger. She’s not going to knife us in the eyeball or throw acid in our face, at worst she might laugh at our lame attempt to open her, but that’s about it.
Subconscious Source Of Approach Anxiety
Of course, knowing this consciously doesn’t help much. Just like knowing jumping out of an airplane with a parachute strapped to your back has a 99.99% probability of being totally safe and successful, this doesn’t mean we aren’t so scared that we’re about to crap our pants.
Before we go over some specific techniques to get over approach anxiety, lets figure out why it has so much power over us. Then we’ll be able to stop it, out in the field, before it even starts.
Man has been around for a long, long time. We wouldn’t have survived if we weren’t hypersensitive to dangers all around us.
A couple of cavemen who were happily wandering the landscape only looking for pretty flowers got eaten by tigers, and didn’t last long enough to pass on those fearless genes to their kids. Our fears are there for a reason.
Those other caveman, who were always checking over their shoulders for tigers, lions, dinosaurs, the other tribe that wanted to kill them, they lived. Now, they didn’t need to think consciously to check over their shoulders, their fears made them. They had instincts to be afraid.
Rewiring Your Brain To Eliminate Approach Anxiety
So inside your brain is a whole bunch of neural pathways. The ones that are used to make you feel afraid are much stronger than the ones that make you thinking of banging the crap out of that hot girl across the room.
So if you ONLY rely on your pre-wired brain structure, the fear will ALWAYS win out. Which is why even guys who are approach machines always feel approach anxiety. It’s only their momentum that keeps them going.
Since they approach quickly, they don’t have time to feel afraid. They make a physical move across the room BEFORE the approach anxiety rears it’s head.
But it’s kind of a self-sustaining loop. The only way they can do that is they remember doing it yesterday. That gives them that initial push that helps them make that first move every night.
If you’ve ever known a guy who’s been in a relationship, or if you’ve been in one yourself for a while, it feels as if you’re starting all over again.
Sure, you can get rid of approach anxiety by simply grabbing your balls and making a move, but you’ll need to get that momentum going each and every time.
Approach Pleasure Instead Of Approach Anxiety
What we want is something to do up in our brains so when we see that cute girl across the room, we don’t have that conversation in our heads about whether or not to approach her. We want to feel COMPELLED to approach her.
We want to feel natural, relaxed and open when approaching her. Kind of like at some huge Expo, and you’re just wandering around, checking out all the different booths.
THAT’s the feeling we’re going for. The “Hmm, I wonder what that booth has?” type of feeling.
How do we get that? Simple. By practicing a set of mental exercises. Right now, with your pre-wired brain, whenever you think of approaching, the potential feeling of fear are much bigger than the potential feelings of pleasure.
So all you’ve got to do is build up those neural pathways in your brain so the “feel good” ones are bigger than the “feel afraid” ones.
How do you do that?
Simple. Take ten minutes every single day, and visualize yourself approaching gorgeous girls. Imagine everything goes perfectly. Imagine her smiling face. Imagine all her friends looking at you with lust as you approach her.
Imagine anything you can, in any way, so that when you’re imagining approaching, it feels good.
Now, this will take time. This is NOT some magic NLP quick fix or anything like that. Think of building up your approach muscle like building up a set of six pack abs. It takes time to get there, and it takes time to maintain, but when you are completely free of approach anxiety, you’ll be walking up and talking to cute girls EVERYWHERE.
Just think about that for a minute. No matter where you go, you likely see cute girls. Imagine if you could obliterate approach anxiety for good, so that walking up and talking to ANY cute girl you see, simply because you enjoy doing so.
How much better would your relationships be? How much more choice would you have? How much more fun would life be?
Get started with those visualizations now, do them ten minutes every single day, and before long you’ll NEVER feel approach anxiety again.