Once there was this newly hired mailman.
He seemed really intelligent and he radiated a desire to become extremely efficient.
So the other mail carriers wanted to make sure he wouldn’t make them look bad.
So they said please change your mental frequency equation, take the first derivative, and maximum time while also maximizing efficiency.
No problem he said.
He devises a new delivery method.
Instead of going through his entire route and deliver each stack of mail to each house, he instead went by parcel type.
Like he would first deliver everybody’s electric bill to their house.
Then he would go through his route again and deliver all the advertisements for hearing aids.
Lastly, he would deliver all the hand written letters.
So he efficiently turned one day’s delivery into three days.
This meant that every day, they would be behind three days.
Every two days would make him behind six days, every three days would make him behind nine days, etc.
I had a weird friend who lost a lot of weight on the pancake diet.
But he could only cook one pancake at a time in a 4 inch frying pan.
And he had to eat standing up.
Lawn Mower Fixer
Once a lawnmower repair man started to prank his customers.
He would recalibrate the lawn mowers so they would create a subacoustic sound at the theta brainwave.
So every time anybody mowed their lawn, they would put all their neighbors into a trance.
Once there was a guy that hated everybody.
He’d tried for several years, unsuccessfully, to get laid.
The last straw when he bought several thousand dollars of pheromones to hopefully attract random blow jobs like they advertisement said.
So he stood in the adult section of his local bookstore with his ding dong hanging out, hoping the pheromone would attract some eager customers.
But he didn’t get any blowjobs.
He got arrested.
I’ll Get You For This
So he decided to take revenge.
And he spent years creating a very carefully calibrated pheromone.
And he hired the best advertisers and marketers to sell it to as many people as he could.
But this pheromone wouldn’t attract ladies.
It was a two three stage pheromone.
First it would mix with the natural oils on your skin.
Once it would mix with these natural oils, it would need to be heat activated.
So if you were hanging out in a club and getting a little sweaty, that would do the trick.
That’s when it would kick into high gear.
This emergent pheromone would send a signal to a certain type of wasp.
So these wasps are in the presence of this pheromone, they go into attack mode.
And they swarm to the source of this pheromone and viciously and repeatedly sting everybody in sight.
They only need one part per billion.
So if you are patient enough, wasps can come from miles away.
Eventually he started to prank the neighbors of the lawnmower.
He would sneak into their houses, and while they were tranced out, he would take all their food out of their refrigerator.
So they would have the experience of hearing their neighbor mowing their lawn.
Then they’d slip into trance, and when the lawn mowering stopped, they’d not only lose time wonder how all their food escaped from their fridge.
This, of course, would only be the beginning.
The rules are simple.
You aren’t allowed to use utensils.
You have to flip the tiny pancake directly into your mouth.
Slow and Simple
Which means you have to cook it on low heat, so it doesn’t burn your math.
And since you have to eat while standing up, it doesn’t really matter what the pancakes are made of.
You’ll eat very slowly, which means you’ll get full faster.
They’ll Never Catch Up
They were so impressed with his increased negative time efficiency that they are planning to completely restructure their mail delivering strategies.
Which means within a year or two, the mail approach an infinite amount of time to go anywhere.
And since time is money, the stamp cost will approach an infinite amount of money.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.