Form and Function
Our mind and behaviors work in two directions.
Kind of like form follows function and function follows form.
For example, it’s pretty easy to prove this by forcing yourself to smile.
Next time you are in a bad mood, try this out.
Force yourself to stand up, look up (at whatever) and FORCE a big grin on your face.
FORCE yourself to laugh and while laughing, FORCE your brain to find a funny memory.
Sure, this takes a lot of effort.
And it’s not a magic fix by any means.
But this is just to demonstrate to yourself, that our body can drive your mood, just like your mood can drive your body.
Really bad actors in low budget movies try to fake emotions.
Really good actors in really good movies have learned, through years of practice, to build the emotions FIRST and let them drive their behaviors.
Seems Legit
So their behaviors are congruent and believable.
This is why they get paid a ton of money.
Our emotions are based on a ton of other things.
How we feel, our general level of self esteem, the confidence we feel or don’t feel in the situation we’re in.
Humans have been living together long before we became humans.
Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist, theorized that the size of our neo-cortex, compared to the rest of our brains, is related to the size of our monkey tribe.
For humans, our neo-cortex makes up about 75% of our brain.
Our neo-cortex is used for all our social functions.
In chimps, who don’t have spoken language, they have very, very complex social relationships.
They make friends and stay friends their whole lives.
They have a very complex social hierarchy.
All without words.
Wrong Direction
Which is, unfortunately, what most of us focus on.
Remember the two actors.
Both are saying the same words.
But one guy gets paid millions.
The other guy is in bottom of the barrel streaming movies.
Words CAN’T be that important.
So, what is?
It’s easy to think it has something to do with looks, or wealth.
But plenty of rich gorgeous people couldn’t game their way out of a paper bag.
There must be something else going on.
Something much, much deeper than surface level words and other “practiced” communication.
Something about how you feel about the world.
How you feel and what you believe about yourself.
The particular memories you reference within the kajillion memories you CAN reference.
The smile to happiness is an easy trick.
Not Equal Directions
While form and function do flow both ways, one way is much more powerful than the other way.
You can only “fake it till you make it” so much.
But with the right mindset, you don’t have to fake anything.
Just relax and be yourself.
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