Get To Know Me
It’s a pretty basic idea that we are much more comfortable around friends than strangers.
That most of us, the more you get to know us, the more you’ll appreciate us.
The more comfortable we feel around others, the more expressive we’ll be.
The more we’ll express our “true selves.”
But what really IS our true selves?
We are not static.
You are not static.
You express your true self differently on a job interview.
Differently around children.
Differently around tigers that just escaped from the zoo.
We don’t really “have” a true self.
That would be impossible.
Every time you have an experience, that adds to your true self.
Always Adding Memories
A bigger collection of memories you can reference based on the situation.
This is all pretty basic.
This is ONE of the causes of “imposter syndrome.”
When you find yourself in a situation that doesn’t seem “normal.”
You find yourself having far more success than you’d expected.
Normally, this would only last until you “got used” to the new level of success.
Most people out of college don’t have a lot of work experience.
Then they get a “real” job with other professionals of all ages.
In college it was you and your buddies.
But at a real job, it’s you and a lot of other people with a lot of different backgrounds.
You have meetings where you need to express your opinion without dropping any f-bombs.
Gradual Transitions
Most people simply “get used” to this kind of scenario.
Because this is normal, this is what you expect.
But if you got promoted to be the company president, that WOULD feel strange.
Even if it was legitimate.
If you had some skills you didn’t know you had.
Organizational skills, planning skills, management skills.
But for plenty of people this feels VERY uncomfortable.
Why?
Don’t Do That!
Because we all have plenty of experiences being told we don’t “belong.”
That we’d better stay in our lane.
We’d better not call attention to ourselves.
All before we went to elementary school.
And the people those ideas came from were FAR more powerful than us.
So those messages seem very true.
If we had tons of memories of other kids on the playground telling us we didn’t belong, we’d probably toss a few dirt clods in their direction.
This is why imposter syndrome pops up.
Whenever we are out of our element.
Particularly when we are getting social or monetary rewards FAR beyond what we think we deserve.
The typical response is to self-sabotage yourself until you’re back at a comfortable level.
A BETTER response is to simply increase what you feel you truly deserve.
Learn How:
Deserving Mind
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