Difficult Lives
Many people struggle with life.
Making money, making friends, creating potential romantic connections.
One way to look at this is as the human condition.
We all want the same stuff.
Food, money, social connections, companionships, sex, love.
But getting these is far from easy.
Often we think about these from an incorrect structure.
Like suppose I wanted a burrito.
That is my goal.
So I drive down to the burrito store.
I trade some money for a burrito.
I go back home, and how I have a burrito.
I’m Hungry
I wanted a burrito.
I kicked off a set of behaviors to get a burrito.
I was successful, and now I have a burrito.
I go back to my original state but WITH a burrito.
So far so good.
But most of the things we want are not “things.”
They are states of being.
To get a specific thing, you do something, you get the thing, and everybody lives happily ever after.
But states of being are not things you GET.
They are things you need to create and importantly, maintain.
Higher incomes, healthier bodies, mutually enjoyable and beneficial relationships.
Get vs. Create
These are things you can’t just “get.”
And unless we’re talking about health, all these things involve other people.
But so does the burrito.
The burrito costs something obvious.
Five bucks.
Burrito man wants five bucks.
You want a burrito.
So you make a trade.
But with interpersonal skills, this trade is ongoing.
They provide you with good feelings, but ONLY if you also provide them with good feelings.
Always Exchange
This is the part most people don’t quite understand.
The more you want to GET, the more you’ll need to GIVE.
And sadly, many people today significantly OVER ESTIMATE how much they are giving.
Both burrito seller and burrito buyer both agree, before hand, on the price of a burrito.
But we never have any idea what other people WANT before we interact with them.
Friends, bosses, coworkers and potential lovers.
So the only way is to interact with them for a while and hope for the best.
Some won’t be into you, but you’ll be into them.
Some you’ll be into, but they won’t be into you.
The trick is to find somebody that YOU are into as much as THEY are into you.
This is absolutely not easy.
Better Is Harder
This is a kajillion times more complicated than buying burrito.
But there ARE ways you can significantly improve your chances.
One way is how much you truly ENJOY being yourself.
How much you enjoy engaging with others, EVEN IF you never see them again.
This is something you can learn, practice, and continue to get better at.
Learn How:
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