We Are Similar!
One way to “accelerate” the romantic cycle is to purposely find things in common.
In fact, some folks, on some dating shows, try to find things as QUICKLY as they can.
Like on the first date.
And then they say, “Wow, we have a lot in common!”
This sort of seems like good advice.
One fundamental reason for dating is you and your hopeful partner have a lot in common.
This is demonstrated in an unfortunate way lately.
In the last few years, there has been a lot of political anger.
So many couples, that were kind of overlooking their political difference couldn’t do that any more.
Life is getting harder, and a common target of blame is the “other side” of your political beliefs.
If a couple is having difficulties, and they are of two different parties, this makes things difficulty.
Each thinks the other’s political affiliation is the problem.
This is an extreme case of the OPPOSITE of finding similarities.
Super Ficial
The way it’s presented in some dating shows is very superficial.
“Oh, you like pasta? I like pasta! Wow! We have so much in common!”
This may make it convenient to choose dates and cook dinner for each other, but it’s not really enough to base a relationship on.
Creating a relationship is much easier of you have deeper things in common.
Like the same basic goals.
The same basic orientation toward money, savings, debt and investments.
So we can see there are two layers of having things in common.
A more superficial layer like pasta or sports or music.
A deeper layer that is on the more important things in life.
But there is a much, much deeper level.
One that exists beneath the level of nouns and first.
One that exists at the level of raw desires.
This requires two sides.
Digging For Common
Similar to the, “Oh, you like pasta? I like pasta!” side.
To dig for their deepest desires.
And covertly express your deep desires and ambitions.
This does require practice.
But it will create connections a kajillion times more potent than liking the same pasta sauce.
Unbreakable connections that will last a lifetime.
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