Effect Cause
Relationships used to be easy.
Not fantasy dream come true, but pretty easy.
You cruise through school.
Learn some basic social skills.
Learn some basic life skills.
Parents and teachers were there to help.
Society was pretty stable.
You came out, got a job and found somebody to partner up with.
Today, relationships are kind of like food.
We’ve kind of confused the cause-effect relationship.
Imagine how food worked way back in the day.
Let’s imagine this in a kind of mental evolution experiment.
Everybody had randomly calibrated tastes.
Some liked the taste of dirt.
Some liked the taste of tree bark.
Some liked the taste of freshly cooked buffalo meat.
The people that randomly “liked” things that were also healthy survived.
Dead Dirt People
Those that liked tree bark and dirt, not so much.
This, of course, assumes that everybody ate ONLY what they liked.
Nobody ate what they should.
Similarly, we can imagine relationships back then.
Different guys liked different kinds of girls.
Different girls like different kinds of guys.
The girls who liked the game spitting poets that couldn’t kill an animal to save their lives went extinct.
The dudes who liked ladies too old to reproduce went extinct.
So what we have left over today is a bunch of instincts that helped us way back then.
Out Of Calibration
Instincts that ONLY required we do what felt good.
Today, that strategy will get you killed.
If you eat food ONLY because of taste, you’ll be in trouble.
If you try to create relationships based ONLY on short term pleasure, you’ll be in big trouble.
Lucky for us monkey people we have brains.
Conscious self awareness.
We can PLAN our lives, instead of being yanked around by ancient instincts.
If you’ve ever NOT eaten something, even though you wanted it, you have proven this to yourself.
If you exercise at all, every single time you are proving that your conscious brain is STRONGER than your instincts.
We Crave Health
Billions of dollars are spent every year on the health industry.
All to circumvent our ancient “eat whatever tastes good” instincts.
If you can do this with food, you can do this with relationships.
Instead of saying what you WANT to say, you can calibrate and practice want works.
Instead of building relationships the way you WANT to, you can build them based on what works.
Instead of building based on short game thinking, create them based on long game planning.
Eating a cheeseburger feels pretty good.
But having a head turning six pack feels much better.
Going after short term sexual thrills feels good.
But having a partner that will always have you back?
That feels WAY better.
Learn More:
Relationship Engineering
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