One of the most horrible things that can happen to a guy is unrequited love.
Otherwise known as “one-itis,” this is when you fall head over heels with a girl, try your darndest to get her to fall for you, but you go down in flames.
Or maybe you fall for her, and she doesn’t even know you exist. Maybe she knows you, but has no clue of your feelings.
The commonest response to this is to “spill your guts” to her, thinking that if only she were to know how you felt, she would magically fall in love with you.
If you’ve ever done this, you know that it rarely works. It often has the opposite effect. Meaning she’s bopping along, think you’re her friend (not the “let’s just be friends” friends friend, but a genuine acquaintance), then you suddenly spill your guts.
Imagine that happening to you. Imagine there’s a girl you know. You have ZERO sexual interest in her. But she’s got kind of a cool personality. Then she tells you she wants to have sex with you.
Does this suddenly make her sexually attractive? Most likely not. Now you’ve downgraded her in your mind from that cool girl you used to hang out with to that weird girl you’ve got to avoid.
This is what will happen to you if you “spill your guts” and tell her how you feel.
If you do happen to find yourself in this situation, where you’ve opened up to her, told her how you feel, and you’re now in the horrible “friend zone,” you don’t have much hope.
Unless you lose fifty pounds, suddenly become world famous, and discover some millionaire money making skills that nobody knew about, it’s best to look elsewhere for female companionship.
Which is why it’s always crucial to remember the golden rule of attraction: Never talk about attraction. Never talk about your feelings with her, at least in the beginning.
She needs to feel those emotions first, without thinking you planted them there. Then she needs to act on them, and feel as if she’s making the first move. It’s got to be her idea.
The longer she thinks about it, the better it will work.
Luckily, there’s a set of incredibly versatile language patterns you can use that will get her thinking along those lines.