I once did this kind of experiment with this class I was teaching.
I asked all the guys which they would rather have.
A billion dollars, or a magic ring where they could point it at any girl and the girl would suddenly become madly in love and in lust with them.
They ALL would choose the ring over the cash.
When you look out into the world, and see plenty of cute opportunities, our minds automatically fill up with a combination of thoughts and feelings, usually in direct opposition to each other.
If you walk over and are successful, it will be AMAZING.
If you walk over and are shot down according to your fears, it will be HORRIBLE.
It’s no wonder approach anxiety is so prevalent. Who WOULDN’T be anxious with those crazy thoughts fighting in your brain.
The truth is that neither of those outcomes have a very high probability of success. You won’t likely get rejected like you fear, nor will she suddenly jump your bones.
The truth is usually pretty boring. She’ll either be kind of sort of into you, or kind of sort of not into you.
However, one thing WILL help. Having a strong, dominant attitude.
Girls are turned on, on a deep level, by emotional strength, a very strong frame, and somebody who can easily withstand her “tests” that so many guys complain about.
So, in a sense, pretending that you DO have a magic ring can be the best mindset.
Think of it this way. When two people meet up, the person with the strongest frame is going to set the “meaning” of the conversation.
So why not set a frame of “you are irresistibly attracted to me,” combined with “You may be lucky and go back to my place later tonight.”
Hold THAT frame, on a real and deep level (not a pretend arrogant level) and I’m sure you can imagine how much more successful you’d be.
Of course, you can’t really conjure up that frame on the spot, it takes practice.
One way to get that practice is to see life itself, not just girls, as your own personal canvas.
See life as the clay, with you as the sculptor.
Your job, as a man, is to create EXACTLY the life you want, including all the relationships you want in it.
That way, when you walk up to girls, you’ll be radiating a strong, irresistibly attractive frame of, “this is MY world, if you play your cards right, you might get an invite.”
This will make EVERYTHING in your life much easier.