One thing most people hate is unasked for advice.
Unfortunately, the flip side is that most people love to give unasked for advice.
I’m sure you know that in a relationship, for example, when your partner starts “complaining” about something, work, whatever, they really don’t want you to “solve” their problems. They just want you to listen.
Even little kids get angry when parents are overly helpful. They scream, “I can do it myself!” when parents start to get a little too helpful.
Even when somebody specifically comes to you for advice, they’re really not asking for advice. Often times they’re really just seeking validation for their problems, or validation that it’s somehow “not their fault,” and their a victim, or validation for what they’ve already decided to do.
It’s actually very rare for somebody to come to you with an open mind, listen to your advice, and then put what you recommend into practice.
Regardless, when we’re watching a friend or loved one make a mistake, it’s VERY hard to stand back and let them fail. We feel the need to intervene somehow, and show them the error of their ways, to save them from future pain and regret.
What to do?
Luckily, there’s a very POWERFUL way to “give advice” without sounding like you’re “giving advice.’
There’s a way to “make suggestions” without sounding like you’re “making suggestions.”
To them, it will sound like you’re just telling some random story, about some unrelated person. Then suddenly they’ll get an idea about a different course of action. A better course of action.
One that YOU thought of, and covertly suggested to them, in a way that allowed THEM to think it was THEIR idea.
A way to “give advice” without really “giving advice.”
They maintain their ego, you help them out.
Nobody knows, and everybody wins.