You know the story of Goldilocks, right?
She wandered into a house, and suddenly found herself surrounded by three choices. One was too big (or too hard to too whatever), the other was too small (or too soft or too “opposite of whatever”), but one was just right.
Forgetting about how the bears came home and ate her for a moment, she discovered one of the fundamental truths of life.
In many cases, there are two opposite extremes, and that “just right” magical middle.
Now, don’t confuse this with not taking a stand, or settling for average. If you’ve got an opinion, don’t be afraid to share it, come hell or high water.
What I’m talking about is strategies for success. For example, there’s two extreme opposite strategies for eating. One is to eat everything in sight, any time you’re hungry. The other is to never eat anything.
Obviously, both will kill you. The best strategy is somewhere in the middle. Eat healthy foods, and not too much in any one sitting.
We could go on and on with plenty of other examples, proving this point over and over.
But let’s cut to the chase.
When you see a cute girl over there, you’re frame will have the singular most impact on what kind of success you’ll enjoy.
And as you have likely guessed, there are two extremes, and a happy middle. That happy middle will get you the best relationships, sex, and all the wonderful things that come with it.
One extreme is to see her as the queen of the universe. She’s got everything, you’ve got nothing. If she “gives you” herself, you’ll be the happiest guy in the world.
On the other extreme is the “fake” alpha frame. You are the bomb of the world, and any body, hot girls included, are lucky to “allowed in.” You go over and talk to her with extreme arrogance.
Naturally, there’s girls out there that would happily fall into each frame. The “motherly” type, and the “lacking in self-esteem” type. Neither of which tend to make you a happy guy in the long run.
What’s the magic middle?
You’ve got something to trade, and you’re wondering if she’s got something to trade.
You’ve got a certain personality, beliefs, plans and history. She’s got a cute face and a good body. And a whole bunch of other stuff that you know nothing about.
You walk over there and present what you’ve got, and find out what she’s got.
If she and you have some basis for business, it’s all good. If not, no hard feelings.
When you talk to her, you want to be able to present yourself with the best possible chances of success AND to be able to elicit her best qualities, so you don’t waste any time.