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Nobody’s Fault But Mine

March 3, 2014 By George Hutton Last update: March 3, 2014

I once had this teacher in college that used to teach by deception.

She was a young teacher, and I suppose she was trying out “new” ideas of teaching, and trying to get her students to learn the subject matter in interesting ways.

Often times she would create these “scenarios” where the students ended up feeling duped, but supposedly had learned some kind of “lesson.”

Like once she was trying to teach us various “communication styles,” (it was a class called “Group Communication”), and instead of just explaining the different styles, and their benefits and drawbacks, as most teachers would, she tried to give us an “experiential” lesson.

So she told us we were going to separate into groups, and work on some “project” and then each group would have a leader, and this leader would be in charge.

Only the project was fake, and the leaders were in on the con. They supposedly emulated the different communication styles, and then we, the other students who had been duped, were to discuss how we were effected by these different communication styles.

Needless to say, most of the students were upset, and as I mentioned before, she had used this kind of deceptive teaching tactics before. A few students complained, her class was audited by a senior professor, and she stopped teaching that way.

Often times, we feel as we’ve been duped or conned by reality. We think we are getting something, or we think something is going to be easy, and then we realize it’s much different than we were led to believe.

Sometimes this is an out and out con, other times it’s just the situation.

An out and out con is something like the old “bait and switch,” or all the sleazy snake oil sales techniques that have been used throughout the years.

Other times though, it’s just the situation, nobody’s fault, and we can only kick ourselves for “believing” something that was incorrect.

Like the other day I was riding my bike up a long hill, that appeared to “top out” about fifty yards ahead of me. I decided to give it all I had, figuring I’d take a rest at the top.

Only it wasn’t the top. As soon as I turned the corner, I saw the hill just kept on going up and up and up. Since I’d given it all I had, I was suddenly in over my head.

Who’s fault was that? Mine? The hill’s? Truth it was nobody’s fault, just an improper assumption on my part.

One of the biggest things that holds us back is trying to blame others when it’s really just a combination of unrelated events.

If you can get over this tendency, you’ll find recovering, learning and improving your game to get whatever you want in life is a LOT easier.

Learn more:

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Filed Under: Ego, Fear, Goals, Meaning Tagged With: Communication Styles, Deception, Intention, Responsibility

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