Bake Sale
I was out driving around and I came across a group of kids having a car wash.
They said it was for a fund raiser for a local church.
They gave me a flier while I was waiting, and they flier said they were having a bake sale the coming weekend.
Normally I don’t eat baked goods, but it’s nice to see young people doing something to raise money.
Eat Cookies
I figured it was a good enough excuse to buy and eat some cookies or something.
I was at the hardware store looking for a new fan.
My old one broke.
While I was talking to the guy about my next potential fan, I saw another guy working there that I recognized.
During the late middle ages, there was a massive amount of corruption in the Catholic church.
Martin Luther
The biggest one, that led to Martin Luther and the reformation, had to do with selling indulges.
Basically, rich people would hire people to confess their sins, pay some money and get a free pass into heaven.
This led to the reformation.
The reformation led to plenty of deep philosophical debates about the nature of humanity, government, god and the relationship between your behavior on earth and the quality of your afterlife.
Bored Priest
Once there was a priest in a church in the small, dying town in the Midwest.
It had been a long time since anybody came to confession.
But this priest would sit at the confessional every Saturday, as he was required to.
One afternoon, and old woman came and sat on the other side of the screen.
Yes, my child, the priest said.
Bless me father, for I am about to sin, said the woman.
Um… What?
I don’t understand, said the priest.
How long since your last confession.
This is my first.
I will come to you in a dream tonight.
Just like I am in your dream right now.
I Am Evil
I represent the evil you have done, small and large, planned and unplanned.
I will come in the night, while you are asleep.
You will recognize me as the figure standing in your doorway.
Keeping you paralyzed.
Keeping you frozen, seemingly for infinity, while I maximize the amount of fear.
Different Infinities
The length of the infinite time, and the depth of your infinite fear will be proportional to the evil you have done.
This is when you will be measured.
This is when you will be judged.
If you admit your sins, and beg the gods for forgiveness, you will be released.
Deny And Suffer
If you deny your sins, deny the gods, you will be punished for eternity.
Some say the reformation is directly responsible for the enlightenment.
The philosophical debates that it created led to scientific debates.
Which led to a re-discovery of the ideas of the ancient Greeks.
Which eventually led to the awakening from the dark ages.
Martin Luther And Science
The scientific revolution, and the massive comforts we enjoy today.
After I bought my fan I saw the guy outside, and then I recognized him.
He used to be a priest at this church I went to a long time ago.
I asked him why he quit, and he said it was too corrupt.
When he was young, he was naive and gullible.
Have You Met Jesus?
He only wanted to teach people about Jesus.
But the more he was exposed to the power structure, the more he suspected this was all being secretly controlled by Satan.
I bought a bunch of cookies at the bake sale.
The church was huge, wealthy, and in a very nice part of town.
The kids were young and eager and very enthusiastic.
Old Powerful Wealthy Dudes
But the men who run the church are very old, and very powerful.
But at least the cookies were good.
And I didn’t feel guilty about enjoying them.
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