The More They Stay The Same
Some truisms have been around for a long time.
Because humans have the same basic structure.
Our societies have had the same basic structure.
For thousands of years.
We aren’t really “flawed” like people tend to think.
We are just out of our element.
As hunter gatherers, it was us vs. the environment.
This created very stable societies.
Highly calibrated societies.
Everybody had TONS of incentives to work together as tightly organized teams.
Sure, life was harsh.
You were hungry most of the time.
But from a social-emotional level, it was very rare that you felt alone without the mutual support of your crew.
Today it’s much different.
Particularly in the last 50-100 years or so.
Sure, there’s been plenty of problems.
For the past few thousand years, philosophers have noted these same truisms over and over.
Bad Expectations
For example, one common idea, usually associated with Buddha, that all pain comes from having an expectation of the world that is different from how the world really is.
But up until 50-100 years or so ago, that was “manageable.”
Because human relationships were more or less intact.
Having a tight collection of friends and family made living in a crappy world much more bearable.
Today, not so much.
Our instincts tell us that love is a lifelong thing.
That you meet a girl, fall in love and Bob’s your uncle.
But today, if you are operating from that expectation, you’re going to be destroyed.
A common (and very unhelpful) response is to get angry AT the world.
Or more likely, the people in it.
But the world is not likely to change any time soon.
So, you can sit on the sidelines and be angry your whole life.
Or you can get in the game and have some fun.
This DOES require a bit of re-calibration.
To make your expectations much more in tune with reality.
Most modern romantic agony is bases on the Buddha idea.
Of having EXPECTATIONS or assumptions that don’t pan out.
Expected Reciprocity
You have a bit of a fling.
You have some sex.
You catch some feelings.
Those drive your assumptions and expectations.
But those expectations, usually of some kind of reciprocity, are not based on reality.
They are based on hopes and ancient instincts that don’t help so much.
But if you train the expectations out of your brain, what happens?
Love and romance is much easier.
Because you have zero expectations, others will soon be making assumptions about you.
Others will be the ones wanting you MORE than you want them.
You can enjoy them, yes.
Let Them Flow
But enjoying them WITHOUT any expectations?
That will make you more attractive than anybody they’ve ever been with.
Conversations will be easier.
Expressing sexual desire (consciously and unconsciously) will be much more enjoyable.
Life itself will become a never ending lovefest.
Get in the game and get some.
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