Frame Perception
One powerful insight is how people judge us.
People just us based on how we judge us.
If we feel weak, people will perceive us as weak.
Not because they, inside their own brain, have decided that.
But because we have weak frames and we exhibit external behavior that indicates those weak frames.
And our frames are made up by how we feel about ourselves and the world.
They judge us based on how we judge us.
This is related to something strange that happens in sales.
Suppose you keep getting the same objections.
I can’t buy because…
But then you practice coming up with reframes for those objects.
You are so confident you can’t wait for those objections, so you can reframe them.
Pre Frame Objections
But then they never come.
Consider the objections they come up with are really just outward expressions of them sensing your weak inner frame.
Kind of like fears are self creating events.
The more you fear something, the more that “thing” will happen.
At least fears that are based on an interpersonal level.
You’re afraid she’ll reject you, so you are in a bad mood.
And guess what, she rejects you.
There is a LOT going on beneath the words.
Not only the words themselves, but how you use them.
Guys are attracted to looks, more or less.
But ladies are attracted to behavior.
A certain behavior that indicates a certain set of underlying beliefs.
These can’t be faked.
Need To Be Sure
This is WHY girls test guys.
To check and make sure their inner frame is real.
These are somewhat like sales objections.
They’d like to buy whatever it is you are selling, but they have doubts.
Those doubts are NOT logical.
They are outer expressions of emotional uncertainty.
That’s why being super confident you can overcome any objections creates a very strong frame, which eliminates that emotional uncertainty.
With the ladies it is similar.
If you do not fear any tests, and are even hoping to get a few just to DEMONSTRATE your confidence, the tests will never come.
There are two ways to build this confidence.
Take The Easy Way
One is old school, and it takes time.
To have hundreds of conversations with hundreds of girls and slowly, through experience, build up confidence.
Or you can cut to the chase.
And do plenty of inner game exercises that are boring, but very powerful.
To slowly shape your inner game, your frame, and your beliefs about yourself and the world.
To truly build in the recommended advice of “never choose a girl over your ambition.”
When you FEEL this, rather than understand it intellectually, your world will change in very profound way.
Like gaining membership into a secret society, where all the ladies go crazy for you.
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