DNA Splicing Man
There was this scientist working for a very advanced food laboratory.
So advanced, they were heavily funded and were simply told to find anything interesting we can use to increase our profits.
So this guy was kind of on his own, and he got the idea from watching a documentary about starfish to create a never ending sandwich.
He spliced the DNA from a starfish into the tissue of the once living organisms, like pastrami, that made up the sandwich.
Grow Back In Your Fridge
Then if you ate half of the sandwich, and put it back in the fridge, the half you ate would grow back.
There’s this company that’s built a very high tech, very AI driven, pair of shoes.
It’s leveraging a new kind of 3D printing technology that works at the molecular level.
Shoe Cameras
It has tiny cameras that are always measuring your environment.
They’ve also come out with an AI driven, molecular 3D printing based flour.
It looks like a high end bread machine, but it contains this miraculous flour.
Ideal Pancakes
You choose from a huge list of baked goods from the menu, and it creates the ideal flour.
Then you just mix it with water, and bake it in the oven for 15 minutes at about 350.
And out will pop your ideal baked good.
Chocolate chip cookies, banana muffins, blueberry pancakes, even waffles that have somehow conformed to the shape of a waffle maker.
Tennis Man
I saw this guy the other day playing tennis, and he had a really cool racquet.
I asked him where he got it, and he told me.
He told me it was down at this strip mall in between the dry cleaners and Albertos.
So I went there and all I saw was a tiny shop.
I went inside and all they had were these little silver things that looked like ping pong paddles.
But they were like $800 apiece.
I asked the guy what the deal was, and he said they will morph into whatever piece of sporting equipment you want.
Scuba Killer
But there is a long waiting list, and you have to pass a full background check.
One guy bought it saying he wanted a hockey stick, but he ended up turning it into harpoon gun and murdering his neighbor because he snored so loudly.
I suppose once they work the laws out you can also make some pretty powerful pot brownies.
Pot Brownies In The Future
But that would mean they would need to regulate these advanced AI bread machines at the state level, which they might not want to do.
They’ll be connected to a huge fashion database.
So no matter where you go, the shoes will morph into whatever you need them to be, so you can maintain your hierarchical fashion dominance.
Of course, once they found out what he was doing they fired him.
Sandwiches That Never Wear Out
If any company sold a self replicating sandwich, they wouldn’t sell very many of them.
This is the same thing that happened to the scientist who created the tires that never wore out.
Turns out if you don’t point your scientific skills toward profitable endeavors of your overlords, nobody will hire you.
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