Two Truth Levels
There are a lot of “truisms” from self help.
They are true, but only helpful if you “understand them.”
Most people only understand them on a superficial level.
But once you experience them, you “get them” on a much deeper level.
A much more intuitive and experiential level.
For example, a common saying is “rejection is better than regret.”
This is usually applied to dating, but it can be applied to many things.
A corollary is a much, much older saying:
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest of these: It might have been.”
Never Tried
This is from a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier.
About a couple of young would be lovers, both have a secret crush on the other.
But neither of them acted on it, got married to the wrong person, and spent the rest of their miserable lives wondering about “what might have been.”
Another similar regret is the final lines of Terry Mallory, played by Marlon Brando:
“I could’ve been somebody. I could’ve been a contender.”
Everything you want are on the other side of risk.
Nobody knows what is going to happen in the future.
And while these are very poetic and emotionally moving scenes and lines, they kind of miss the point.
Since we tend to like tragedies, and have since the ancient Greeks invented them back in the day, movies, fiction, and poetry tend to over emphasize this kind of “end of life regret.”
But real life is different than the movies.
Kill The Monster
Some movies and stories are meant to be motivational, like hero’s journey movies.
Some are meant to be cathartic, like tragedies.
So we can feel the horrible, end of life regrets WITHOUT having to actually experience them.
In the short term, this can seem debilitating.
You see somebody or something you want.
A cute guy or girl.
A job that you would love to have.
On THIS SIDE of that risk, the statement, “rejection is better than regret” doesn’t really do much.
There is another option besides charging through that risk and hoping for the best.
We are, after all, rational thinking beings (or at least capable of thinking rationally).
We have invented things like insurance to MITIGATE risk.
How do you mitigate the risk of rejection?
To EXPAND your time frame.
Law of Large Numbers
So any ONE conversation is much, much less powerful.
These are two flip sides of the same coin.
To charge ahead and feel plenty of rejection and hopefully get a few.
This is a short term strategy.
The other strategy is pretty boring.
Over the short term.
To slowly build all the things you want over the course of your life.
So any ONE event is much, much less “risky.”
This will add up to a much larger “end of life” description.
From “I could have been somebody” to:
“Man, that was AWESOME!”
Get started:
https://mindpersuasion.teachable.com/p/unrejectable/
Unrejectable
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