There’s two ways of looking at the world, one is as a kid, and one is as an adult. The two are very different, and will get you very different results.
First, take a look at the “kid” model. Kids don’t have a lot of skills. Everything they get comes from their parents. They don’t understand exchange, economics, and the idea of “cost.”
They certainly don’t understand much about money.
So when they want something, they think of it in terms of “somebody giving me something.”
In order to get that something, they explain simply that they need it. Their idea of “persuading” is to simply “express themselves” to they get a reward.
The mindset of the giver (usually their parent) is not taken into consideration. If they can’t have something, they just say it’s “not fair.”
Consider an adult. Living amongst other adults to whom he or she has not relationship. In order to get what they want, they need to exchange.
In order to exchange, you’ve got to know what the other person wants, and you’ve got to be able to show them that what you’ve got is what they want, so you can trade.
Sounds self evident? Maybe so. But many “adults” don’t approach “trade” like this.
They simply state their case, (like a child) without really considering the other person’s point of view.
Like children, they feel as if they state their case long enough, and loud enough, they’ll get what they want, even if it’s just to get them to shut up and go away.
Many deep thinkers and philosophers have pointed out that our biggest problems, as humans, as that we can’t leave the adolescent model behind, and embrace the adult model.
It doesn’t take a lot of effort to find “grown ups” even rich and famous ones, acting like kids.
But if you want to persuade somebody to your way of thinking, you’ve got to ditch the kid, and put on your grown up clothes.
Forget about your model of the world, and get into theirs.
Do this, and you’ll be miles ahead of everybody else.
Of course, having the right language patterns can help you even more. They are carefully designed to shape your message so it resonates with your audience on a deep and powerful level.
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