When you walk up to a girl, what’s your frame? How would you describe the upcoming conversation?
You trying to get her number?
You trying to create attraction?
You qualifying her?
You qualifying yourself to her?
This is very important, and will have HUGE impact on how “successful” you’ll be. Now, most guys don’t take the time to even consider this. They see a cute girl, grab their balls, and make a move.
If you’re doing this, you’re already LIGHT YEARS ahead of most guys who are content to sit on the sidelines, but it could be much, much better.
Set the frame BEFORE you begin your approach. This takes some practice, but it’s powerful. Instead of automatically imagining the BEST possible outcome, and simultaneously the WORST possible outcome, try and keep those fantasies temporarily at bay.
FORCE your conscious mind to take over. Don’t let your brain get hijacked by ancient programming.
What’s a good frame? A more useful frame?
Try these: (Remember, Frame = meaning of the upcoming conversation)
You’re trying to determine what kind of personality she has
You’re seeing if there are any red flags
You’re curious if she is a good conversationalist
You’re curious if she’s intelligent enough for you
When you set the frame based on curiosity, you’re only going over there to find something out.
You’re not trying to “get her number,” or “create attraction,” or any other outcome that MAY OR MAY NOT occur.
You’re just curious. And when you’re curious, ANYTHING that happens can help you learn more.