The simple thoughts that you carry around with you have a profound impact.
Consider walking up to a hot girl. One that’s got a perfect body, a perfect face, and a nice smile.
What are you thinking as you walk up? What are the “flavor” of your thoughts?
If you are like most guys, you’re thinking along the lines of “hope.”
I hope I do OK.
I hope I get her number.
I hope she likes me.
I hope she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
These don’t inspire much confidence. Why? Because you are relying on things outside of your mind in order to be successful.
Instead, try switching out any “hope” thoughts with “I wonder” thoughts.
I wonder what her personality is like.
I wonder what her number is.
I wonder if she’s good in bed.
I wonder if she snores.
I wonder if her friends can count on her.
See, when you when you approach with relaxed curiosity, it not only takes away the pressure, but it makes you much more attractive. You won’t be nearly so desperate, and she’ll feel, on a deep subconscious level, that it’s her qualifying herself to you rather than the other way around.
Naturally, it will take some time before this thinking is automatic. Luckily, you can easily practice. Just spend at least ten minutes a day, wherever you are, watching people.
And just wonder about them. Withhold judgment or criticism. Just wonder.
See if that helps.