One of the biggest killers of any kind of persuasion is ego.
The desire to “be right” and be recognized for being right is a killer.
It’s often been said that when people simply stop worrying about who’s going to get the credit, we can accomplish some pretty amazing things.
However, this is not so easy, as I’m sure you know.
It feels good to get props for a job well done. And it feels terrible for doing a really good job at something, especially when you’ve creatively solved unforeseen problems, only to see somebody else getting the credit.
This is why letting the ego go is one of the biggest unforeseen issues when really becoming skilled as a persuader.
Whether you’re a world class salesperson or just want to become more effective in your relationship, this is absolutely crucial.
But here’s something else that’s unexpected. You WILL get some mad props, just not like you’re looking for.
People think they’ve got a great idea, and then they imagine expressing that great idea, we like to imagine that people will look at us and say something like, “Wow! You’re a genius! That’s an AWESOME idea! I wish I would have thought of that!”
Now, this is not likely to happen, but something much, much better WILL happen.
Because persuasion invariably involves leveraging THEIR criteria, they are going to feel pretty amazing when they take on your idea. Since it’s hitting their “buttons” in just the right way.
But because covert persuasion involves getting them thinking about “your idea” in terms of “their criteria” it will often get them thinking it’s “their idea,” not yours.
This kills any chance of recognized geniusness on your part.
But something much more amazing will happen.
They will feel an incredible feeling, and COVERTLY associate that with you. They are getting their needs met in a way they haven’t thought of yet, AND they are suddenly seeing YOU in a new light.
To them, it’s like two pretty cool things are happening at the same time.
One the one hand, they’ve suddenly come up with a new idea to get their needs met. And on the other hand, they are suddenly recognizing you as having huge amounts of charisma and magnetism.
They’ll just think they are two, “separate” events.
But you’ll know better.