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The Other Side of Assertiveness

September 11, 2013 By George Hutton Last update: September 11, 2013

Long time ago, I used to sell cars. It was actually pretty fun. Besides the bad rap that car salespeople get, when a customer gets what he or she wants, they’re like a little kid on Christmas.

I remember this older couple that strolled onto the lot. They seemed like the “type” that could and would easily brush off salespeople.

Which they did.

The first guy that approached them got shot down within about ten seconds.

The second guy did the same thing.

Then I walked up to them. When I did, I wasn’t aware of the first two guys who went down in flames.

An hour later, they were buying a car from me, pleased as punch. Not only that, but the woman was buying the car (or a truck in this case) for a gift to her husband. Turns out he had just successfully beaten prostate cancer, and they were celebrating.

So, what did I do that the other salespeople didn’t?

I just asked about what was important to them. I didn’t try any slick tricks or patterns. I didn’t try and “settle” them on a car that had more commission in it.

I just asked for what they wanted, what was important to them, what they hoping to avoid, and I listened.

It’s truly amazing what happens when you do this. Just listen to others, without looking for a way to sneak in your intention or try and leverage their ideas so they’ll end up doing what you want.

In here is a paradox.

If you have anything that closely resembles what they are looking for, either in your product, or your personality, they’ll be all over it, so long as it’s clear you’re only focused on what THEY want.

In forgetting completely about your own agenda, and just focusing on their needs, wants, fears and desires, they’ll literally give you the world.

This is the flip side of assertive communication that most folks won’t tell you. Most courses and books will show what to say, how to say it, how to “express yourself.”

But unless you’re willing to shut up and listen to others, nobody’s going to be interested in you.

But when you first show interest in, they’ll almost automatically be interested in you.

If you’re interested in learning more, so you can unlock your creative gifts and understand how and why the world NEEDS to hear them, check this out:

Assertive Communication

You’ll be glad you did.

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Filed Under: Assertiveness, Beliefs, Charisma Tagged With: Assertive Behavior, Confidence, Listening Skills, Sales

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