One of the most crucial mistakes guys make with girls is looking for conscious buy in.
They are at her place, or at the bar, and they hesitate making a move. Later on they’ll complain that they didn’t get any green lights or obvious signs that it was OK to go in for the kiss.
Sure, often times in the movies, the girl or guy will actually say something about kissing each other before making out with wild abandon.
This rarely happens in real life.
Attraction is unconscious. Automatic. Deeply instinctive. The less we use our conscious minds, the better.
If you’ve ever played a piano or other musical instrument (or any sport for that matter) that relied heavily on hand-eye coordination, you know how easy it is to mess things up when you use to much of your conscious brain.
If you just let go, and let your unconscious take over, it’s a lot easier.
So when you’re thinking of whether or not you want to kiss that girl, it’s likely OK to move in.
If you’re walking down the street, do you imagine kissing all the girls you pass by? Not likely. But when you’re sitting there with a girl you just met, and all of a sudden you’re thinking about kissing her, chances are she’s giving off unconscious signals.
Signals that says she wants to be kissed, at least in part.
Of course, the moment you lean in, those unconscious thoughts are going to be forced into her conscious mind.
Unfortunately, oftentimes this doesn’t get such good results, because it’s pretty rare for any of us to have a great deal of congruence between our conscious and unconscious minds.
Our conscious minds are filled with worry, doubt, fear, skepticism. The more we involve them, the more freaked out we’ll get.
So, how do you get around this? Two ways.
The first is to go slowly, and ditch all your nervousness. Just move in like it’s normal, natural and accepted. Don’t force anything, and don’t ask her if it’s OK. If it’s the first time, do it quickly, and then slowly pull back.
Two is to make sure you put in a lot of work before hand. Meaning that you make sure her unconscious attraction to you is fired up as much as it can be.
You do this through using specific language patterns that covertly elicit her most treasured memories, emotions and desires.
So the more you talk to her, the more she’ll not only feel those wonderful feelings, but she’ll begin to associate them with you. Making any kind of physical escalation seem like her idea, even if she doesn’t initiate it.
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