Origin Story
Once upon a time, you were extremely confident.
When you saw what you wanted, you went after it.
With reckless abandon.
When you had something on your mind, you let everybody know.
You didn’t have any intention.
You weren’t trying to move anybody’s mind.
You just wanted to turn those ideas and thoughts into words.
Just so everybody would know.
This is a fundamental human drive.
To share your opinions and ideas.
To share your suggestions and recommendations.
To share compliments and constructive criticism.
But something happened to your natural exuberance.
Somewhere along the time, you were transformed.
What Happened
From a happy extrovert to more of a calculating introvert.
Somebody who didn’t just automatically spit out ideas.
You still have ideas in your head.
Way, way more than before.
But the process of turning ideas into words is much more complex.
Much more deliberate.
Much more conscious.
You hold back a little bit on the emotions.
You hold back a little bit of your natural charisma.
You hold back with your genuine and congruent facial expressions.
You take those ideas and significantly alter them by the time they come out of your mouth.
There is an interesting structure in SOME languages.
Similar in some ways to how you are not nearly as extroverted as you used to be.
In SOME languages, but not all, not even most, there are SPECIFIC verb conjugations for politeness.
NOT in English.
Ad Hoc Politeness
In English, the second conditional is used for politeness.
But it’s also used in plenty of other situations.
The first conditional is any “if… then… ” statement that will likely happen.
It uses the present tense, and “will.”
“If I DRINK (present tense) a lot of coffee, I WILL have to pee.”
The second conditional uses past tense and would.
To talk about things that probably WON’T happen.
“If I SAW (past tense) Bigfoot, I WOULD take a selfie with him.”
This is why we use words like “would” to make polite requests.
Consider this statement:
“Would anybody mind if I OPENED (past tense) the window?”
Because it’s in the second conditional, it’s kind of if “hypothetical land.”
This allows everybody to save face.
So nobody feels on the spot.
But some languages have very polite verb conjugations.
Why?
Please Don’t Kill Me
The theory is that way back in their past, upper class people could KILL lower class people.
So the lower class people essentially INVENTED a new form of politeness to make sure they DIDN’T get killed.
This is the SAME REASON most folks have social anxiety.
Because we’ve all been told, through experience, to NOT express our true desires.
Ever since we were kids.
A kid runs around and grabs all the cool looking things.
And every time he does this, he gets YELLED at.
Social anxiety is a learned defensiveness response.
And whatever you LEARNED, you can UNLEARN.
To return to your naturally OUTGOING and EXTROVERTED state.
Making YOU more attractive than ever.
Learn How:
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