Check The Brakes
Once, a long time ago, a buddy of mine and I were on a bike ride.
I was using my bike.
He was using a borrowed bike.
Were about the same, shape wise.
So whenever we went riding together, we would complete.
To try and out do each other.
But this particular day, my friend was lagging.
And it was making him very frustrated.
He felt OK, no noticeable health issues.
But he was struggling to keep up with me.
Something he never needed to do before.
Finally he realized the problem.
On his borrowed bike, the brakes weren’t calibrated.
They were slightly rubbing against his wheels.
Once he undid the brakes, it was back to normal.
Release Resistance
The two of us trying to outdo each other.
In golf, they have something called a handicap.
It’s sort of to make things more fair.
If one guy is really good, it’s not so much fun playing against him.
Particularly if it’s in a tournament.
These are not for pro tournaments.
But if a company has a golf tournament for the employees, it’s not fun for the people that suck at golf.
So everybody gets to use their handicap.
Every golf course has it’s “par.”
The ideal score for that course.
If you are a really good golfer, and you always get par, your handicap is zero.
Double Digit Par
But if you suck, like me, your handicap is your average score OVER par.
So even if you suck, so long as you play a little bit BETTER than your normally do, you may have a chance to win first prize.
For company tournaments, this is usually like a big screen TV or something.
Outside of golf, a handicap is not generally a positive term.
Like if you were born with a messed up, and unfixable foot or something, and you always needed to walk on crutches.
This would suck.
Everybody recognizes that this person is “handicapped.”
This is a very complex and potentially anger-inducing political and economic issue.
But many of us handicap ourselves.
Particularly in social situations.
We make it much HARDER on ourselves when we don’t need to.
Self Imposed
Whenever you attempt to apply any kind of logical or rational thinking to social situations, you are making it harder on yourself.
Nobody starts and enjoys a friendly conversation because they used any kind of logical strategy.
Nobody spends hours and hours on a first date because of a rationally calibrated conversational strategy.
All of these happy social events are based on emotions.
Unconscious, unpredictable, wonderful emotions.
Vibing with a stranger is a fantastic feeling.
But it requires you get OUT of your head and simply flow in the moment.
It’s not really a matter of learning WHAT to do.
But recognizing what NOT to do, and simply letting go of that.
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Emotional Intelligence
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