Most guys get into some pretty heated discussions about the “secret ingredient” when attracting women.
Some say money is all you need, some say looks is the most important thing, some say having “game” (whatever THAT means) is the crucial thing for success.
Others will say things like confidence, or social skills, as if something as difficult to define as those can help out.
Mostly though, when guys are together (namely when there’s no girls around) and spouting off about what’s important, they (we lol) all have a ulterior motive.
I’m sure you realize this on some level, but when guys are sitting around trying to “describe” the secrets of ANYTHING, we’re almost always trying to brag on some level.
Guys that spend a ton of time in the gym will talk about physical appearance is the most important. Guys that are doing pretty good financially will usually talk about how women LOVE money. Guys that can easily number close fifty girls a day will say it’s simply a numbers game, and all you’ve got to do is talk to enough women.
When each particular guy describes his own “secret,” he’s really tooting his own horn. Guys that are good looking will tend to hook up with girls that go for guys that are good looking, giving him the impression that girls only go for guys that are good looking, since those are the only girls he interacts with.
So in a sense, when he talks about how girls are only after good looking guys, he’s kind of “bragging” about how good looking he is.
Truth is that there’s a billion different things that girls go for, and if you over specialize, you’ll only find girls that are after THAT particular thing, reinforcing your belief.
Does this mean that picking up girls is completely random? Not at all. Everything being equal, better looks are better than ugly looks. More money is better than less money. More ambition is better than less ambition. More confidence, social skills, game, is better than less.
But one thing will generally help you collect ALL THOSE THINGS. And that is simply experience.
The skills, beliefs and instincts that drive human interaction, especially the sexually driven kind, are very, very subconscious. It’s hard to consciously plan a seduction like you’d plan a football build a career.
You don’t have time to think. Only respond “in the moment.” It’s not like playing chess where you can think for a while before each move.
One way you can significantly increase your chances is by practicing certain language patterns. Not huge memorized stories, but small, very versatile language “fragments” that you can piece together on the fly, making you MUCH more charismatic and attractive.
The good news is that you can practice these on your own, and they’ll become second nature out in the field.